I’m a lucky man. Sister Joyce was here on Vashon and I got an hour with her. I plead my case so to speak. I told her what has been occurring since last we saw each other. She had not been reading Caminoheads the last few weeks so I got her back on track with that. The last few weeks on this blog have been interesting. Somehow a gear has been shifted in my walk.
Sister Joyce is good at fitting anyone’s story into the broad bigger picture. She is good at clarifying the muddy. That’s what I need as I drag my “stuff” in to her as it’s tangled and caked with road grime and so close to me that I can’t see it properly. “Well, what have you been up to?” she will ask.
Yea, what have I been doing? Somehow old Felipe has gone a little woo woo could be the story. Somehow getting outside the bounds of my traditional understanding of things. Somehow in unknown territory for me anyway. And I’m not bragging or complaining but just reporting as the blog has always done. Bless Sister Joyce for keeping her ear open to me and letting me know that things are alright. We are all a little further down the trail today in places that we haven’t been before and things look different than they did yesterday, that’s all.
Well, on with my day. Thanks for lending me your ear. Love, Felipe.
So, so true. The trail looks different every day. Why are we surprised by this almost always? Imagine if it didn’t look different!
“Can’t step in the same river twice” is as much about us as it is about the river, really. The river and the trail can’t be the same– because we’re not the same and we see it, feel it, breathe it, know it differently.
It’s scary, sometimes. For me, anyway. I sometime want sameness: it feels like reliability to me. But I guess reliability would better be cultivated and expected another way– such as reliably being in a place that anticipates new experiences and new insights into awe and wonder — and gratitude. Oh, so much to learn, practice and become.
I know it doesn’t happen in isolation; it happens most where intimacy can be cultivated and conversations that matter can happen.
I love the blog. Love it.
Ever faithful Steve, thanks so much for your great comments. Yes it looks different every day for sure but recently things have started to look really different. Like a change of season or crossing a border type change. Ever since I have been actively meeting face to face with my cancer have things shifted. All sort of woo woo maybe but that is what I am present to these days.
Jennifer and I are off to Swedish tomorrow for our scans. That has always been an anxious time for me but I feel particularly calm now. Somehow I’ve turned a corner with my situation, a good corner. Yup, alperfect really. Felipe.