Sometimes when I write this blog things are clear and other times I need several starts to make it happen. Today we have a little shaky start but let’s see what happens. It would be nice if we had it all figured out all the time.

Early this morning I was doing my mediation, my brand of it. At one point I was visualizing a warm toasty sweet spirituality seeping into my body cell by cell like my all too well known chemotherapy. I was being saturated by the good stuff in a way that I couldn’t ignore. It wasn’t just a intellectual knowing it was a inside out knowing, an every cell knowing.

Chemotherapy seems like such a cruel and unusual place. It is always so hard to relate to it. Yes, it is keeping me alive. Yes, it is the state of the art. Yes and yes and yes but what a beast. What a strange bed partner. Hopefully twenty years from now we can throw it all away for something better and more humane. But for now we are stuck with it, with him with her. I need you but baby you are sooo weird!

Ah. But this morning I was using the idea of chemo in a new and unusual way to bring me some other good, some additional good. So, that’s a good thing right? But also what occurs to me with this conversation about internalizing the Spirit is that really it has two parts. One, is so extremely basic that I miss it and that is that it is already there. No matter what my consciousness believes or is aware of the Spirit already saturates everything everywhere at everytime no problem. Two, it is really the awareness of the Spirit that I had saturating every one of my cells this morning. They are two different things but related.

Well, ever onward down the road we go. The Camino, the Soul Train is bound for glory, love you, Felipe.x