We are having our funky weekend here, our low tide in the chemo cycle. Sometimes this is easier than others. Maybe different factors conspire to trip us up. Anyway I just talked to Our Jennifer on the phone. We were trying to cheer ourselves up.
Some of the conversation revolved around books that have been given to us by good hearted folks. Sometimes it feels like I get two books a day. Jennifer was doing a cleanup of one of her spaces and sorting through a pile of gift books. We talked about amazing books that have come from those piles.
The amazing stories to us are the ones that that revolve around the topics of Near Death Experiences or of turnarounds in disease. You know those incredible exceptions that seem to exist in spite of all the cold hard facts. Life at the hospital revolves around statistics, a close cousin to cold hard facts so it is good to contemplate something else, something more cuddly.
What is the deal with exceptions anyway? How is that the cold hard rules have these amazing exceptions hanging around and not nervously hanging area but cool as a cucumber hanging around. Maybe even an exception with an attitude. Maybe even an exception with it’s hair on fire. Yea!
Here we are playing defense, with cancer on the offense and there seems little leeway in the system. How do we dial up two of these exceptions? Felipe y Jennifer.
Thanks to you for all your thoughtful comments. They are gifts I appreciate. Here are a few extra prayers you can put in your pocket. No expiration date, no need to refrigerate, not necessary to declare at borders, and renewable at random intervals. Love to you, your lady, and your fellow pilgrims.Eileen Elliott
Lovely Eileen ~ lovely comment that we needed at this vulnerable time. Thank you for all the leeway, love you, Felipe y Jennifer.
Hola PFFelipe y Jennifer,
I’m on kinda slippery ground here. I’m not just an outsider, I’m a FAR outsider. I’m not fighting the dragons you two are. Nobody in my immediate family is fighting that dragon either. That evil dragon did take my much-loved mother in law away far too early in a life with so much left to live for. I don’t have to live with the pain and the fear and the dreadful uncertainty that you two are. Thus my tentativeness in putting forth what I see coming out of your battle.
Our wonderful, old (we use that word because he’s proud of being old, of the gifts that being old brings), Fr. Doyle, who celebrates Mass for us every third Sunday gave us a memorable homily this morning. His topic was Miracles. I think the “exceptions” you wish for and wonder about are these Miracles, but you shy away from asking for one for yourself. Or even for your fellow Commando, Jennifer. Fr Doyle talked about that resistance to asking for Miracles, for fear of not getting the one that you’re praying and hoping for. He gave a couple of wonderful examples of people in his past (another advantage of being “old”, there are a lot of stories and people in the past to draw from). Both stories contained Miracles. The first story was the “traditional” miracle. Someone was terrifically ill and was told to prepare for death because there was nothing any doctor or medicine could do to prevent it. And yet, the “exception”, the “Miracle” happened. They didn’t die, they lived on for many more years. This was one of those “exceptions with a attitude and hair on fire” that you deftly described. The second “Miracle” was of a different nature. A woman with the same prognosis, same “death sentence” as the first example. This “Miracle” reminded me so much of what you have done with your life since being dealt this awful hand. To me, looking at the changes this disease has put in your life is that kind of Miracle. What you both have done to gird yourselves for this life or death battle is the stuff Miracles are made of.. Nothing else you have done in your lives has had such an impact on how you see your relationship with God. Nothing else you have done in your lives has made you so aware of how much we all need each other. You are both the “Exceptions”. You are both the Miracles.
SF,
PFJ
Oh PFJ ~ your message is so timely, right? The dear Padre comes up with the exact info that shines light on our situation. Really sort of unbelievable, synchronicity right? And thank you for you great thoughts. You said it just right. I understand the “traditional” miracle. I understand how hard it is to ask for one for oneself. It is the “untraditional” type that we perhaps are tasked with exploring and there is more to come. Thank you man for staying by us, PFF y Jennifer.