Well, this is usually the time cloaked in anxiety and worry, this scan time. The whole process is when I have the worse time but am feeling strangely peaceful at the moment. I am trying to be as optimistic as possible to hear news of this new treatment that I have been receiving. It has been six weeks now and the doc and research nurses are keeping close tabs on my every move. And this scan is the first look at my insides. Ah, my insides, the place that has been steering my life for eight years now.
I will share the news with you after I learn about it tomorrow at my doctor’s appointment. But really enough of that for now. There. are other things, other important things, going on. Such as I look out the window and the swallows are swooping once again. There are bunches of them right now, so happy to be back at the ranch after there long trip south. See that’s important!
And I don’t hear chainsaws everytime I open the door to the outside. Neighbors have all their winter cleanup wrapped up. Or, the leaves are out on most of the species of trees changing the look of the place. The walnuts are still bare but they are some of the last to leaf out. And the corn patch is looking mighty fine after six times through with the tiller. Just needs a few more degrees of warmth.
And I need to finish up my prayer for the “sick and infirmed” for National Day of Prayer. I have a good theme, a good beginning and I am working on the body of it. If I can come up with a great wrap up ending I will have it in the bag.
OK, have to go shower up and get pretty for my nurses. Enjoy your day where you are. Swoopingloves, Felipé.
Yesterday I had a instructive and odd experience. A month or two ago I snagged my left nipple enough so it hurt pretty lots. It has remained somewhat tender. There are no marks but last night I discovered a lump right next to my nipple and it hurts to the touch. This caused me some chagrin and I made an appointment yesterday morning and they got me in right away, which was nice but caused me more chagrin. I assumed my complaint worried them so on the way to the clinic I was planning my funeral and trying to figure out how I might be able to get rid of my boat right away as well as what might happen to my shop. I was thinking if Riley had listened to me and bought a home he could take all of my tools but as it is now most of them will be scattered to the wind. Nasty little dumb idiots grabbing my precious tools and leaving them out in the rain. I thought maybe it’s a kid’s obligation to get settled so that parents can pass precious heirlooms on to them. Obligations of that sort seem to have disappeared into the ether. Nobody gives a darn. Which is another problem entirely. Giving a darn. I know how glad I was to be able to offer my folks a comfortable place to stay while they visited and prize the few tools I have of my father’s. I was thinking as I waited in the examination room how life can turn on a dime. One minute you’re good and planning on living another fifteen or twenty years and the next you have a terminal illness. Just like that. Whissss. And you’re gone.
Dr. Lynam assured me that men don’t get breast cancer very often, to come back in a month and to put hot compresses on the area. Still, the feeling of how tenuous life is remains with me.
Ahoi ~ Hey buddy. You had a brush with worry and uncertainty. I’ve learned it is best to take things a little at a time, day by day or week by week. Thinking too far ahead takes too much energy from the here and now. Be strong. Your constant friend Felipé.
Thinking about you and thinking of the swooping birds. Many many geese were up at all hours partying last night! The racket! The audacity!
I will be there for your prayer on Thursday. Can’t wait to hear what you come up with.
The deepest peace be with you the next while.
Jessika
Yes Jessika, the deepest peace. All this is jangling my nerves. Will be out on the trail in minutes and will say the rosary and try and get grounded. Felipé.x
The peace you mentioned– what a blessed feeling. So good to hear that you are knowing and nurturing the truth of that. From 500 miles away, I’m with you, my friend.
Thank you Steve-O. Your support is much appreciated. Felipé.