I am just on the verge of finishing reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho for the third time. I am realizing that perhaps this is a book that will stick with me for a while longer as I reread it again and again. This I have done in the past with two other books, “Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up To Me” and “American Guerilla In The Philippines”, in case you were wondering. Don’t know if there is a common thread there but we’ll leave it for the historians to figure out.

The Alchemist is a good story but beyond, a treasure trove of notions that springboard me into a very expansive space. It is a very calm space which in itself is immensely useful but it also is a place to see life differently. A place to navigate from perhaps.

Is this all TMI, too much information? Yea, probably but I don’t see any other way around it at the moment so you will have to put up with me on this. I am trying not to bore you. But something magical happens here on the blog once in a great while and it happened recently with “The Little Bean” post and it has happened before on at least one occasion with “Warning” back in September 2014. Could I write like that more often? Please. Once a month maybe instead of once a year? And somehow, the extra special posts are related to me reading The Alchemist.

I’m going to give you three quotes from the book to try to illustrate my point: “But don’t worry,” the alchemist continued. “Usually the threat of death makes people a lot more aware of their lives.” Yes.
“The boy looked out at the horizon. There were mountains in the distance. And there were dunes, rocks, and plants that insisted on living where survival seemed impossible.” Yes.
“That’s what alchemists do. They show that, when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” Yes.

Yes, yes and yes. This is where the Cancer Commandos live and thrive. Quick breakfast and a walk, later, love, Felipe.

So, I’m making a fresh pot of coffee this early AM before picking up Catherine for Mass. I had just been sitting at the kitchen table wondering about what to write on today’s post. In that zone of uncertainty when this little mosquito flys by me. Sort of odd really and caught my attention. Wrong season, right? It’s November and well into it. He is flying zigzagie as in looking for something or uncertain about where to land, kind of tentative. And then I think OK does this little guy have a big lesson for me, like things have been occurring lately? We’ve had little spiders and a little bean with big lessons.

He really didn’t talk to me but the lesson started when I tried to capture him with a word and came up with “stranger”. He was showing uncertainty, was out of place or better out of time. This stranger thing snapped me back to a walking conversation I had with Dana recently about the origins for the word pilgrim being that very idea a stranger or a foreigner as my dictionary has. Either way same thing. It says from the Latin “peregrinus” meaning foreign.

Dana was talking about the idea that being a pilgrim is supposed to be or puts one in the position of stranger. Aside from the striving for the goal stuff the basic experience is one of experiencing strangerness and that is the space intended for you. In other words it is supposed to be a facsimile of life in a Christian sense where one belongs in heaven but we are temporarily wandering on this earth. A stranger as viewed from worldly perspective. Being in and not of, I have heard it expressed.

Reading the short book “Pilgrim’s Progress” written in the 1500rds I think, talks of this. It was a book that was required reading until maybe mid twentieth century when we became too cool for such stuff. But my little mosquito is still onto it.

Hey have to go. Off to a luncheon potluck. So stranger loves to you today, Felipe.

This is Saturday and this last Wednesday evening twelve of us gathered to watch for our first time Phil’s Camino. It was a very moving event for me and for all of us. It was so chock full of goodies, full of beauty, full of all the stuff that make one laugh and cry at the same time. I have been trying to come up with intelligent things to say about it but it is too close to me but I will try now.

Annie, Todd and Jessica along with a whole bevy of talented folks have been adding their magic to this effort in all sorts of ways. People in the movie were so beautiful just being themselves, Rick and daughter Maryka, Kelly, my Australian walking pal Gracie. Regrets that it didn’t show some of the scores of folks that were so great along the Way, beautiful pilgrims from all points of the compass, beautiful Spanish people just being beautiful Spanish people.

Way back in the early summer of 2014 we were so focused on getting to Spain and the filming there. That was where everything was headed and were the story was we thought. We had done a little filming at the hospital before going but not much was happening outside of that. And that was my idea of how the movie would read, all about Spain. But as it turns out the evoulved story is more about my inner pilgrimage and all that went into that and all that resulted from that. And that is as it should be perhaps because as so much has been pubished on the trail in Spain and its trials, comaradery, beauty and so forth.

So, as I think about the movie now that I have seen it and digested it somewhat the story of the Outer pilgrimage has been eclipsed by the story of the Inner pilgrimage that resulted from it. And as the maybe hundred hours of raw footage was winnowed down to the half hour of the movie so many things had to be jettisoned to effectively tell the evolved story. Am I making sense? This is the major challenge of editing, to get down to the essence with the pile of raw material. What are the rock bottom things that tell the story most effectively.

Realizing that constraint I still long for all memories of Spain and the wonderful folks that really made it all happen for me that would be too numerous to mention. And folks here, to numerous to mention and at the same time so important to me. But you guys know that you dwell in my heart as always. So, onward we go to tell folks that weren’t there or maybe never will get close, the story, the story of how a dreaded disease as cancer can be a catalyst for positive change for this guy, the average guy.

Time to bake some cornbread for breakfast. Wiley and I off after that on our third day to finish the old two day job. Thinking of you, trying to pray for you as often as I can think about it. Alperfect it is, althankful we are, love, Felipe.

In September I traveled to a men’s dinner in Seattle with a couple of hundred in attendence. There were two warmup speakers that talked of their personal experience with life’s troubles and of finding Christ and the right track. Very inspiring to hear people be so open about their personal stories. Then the main speaker was Jeff Kemp who was quarterback for Seattle Seahawks and local celebrity.

Jeff talked about how men play defense and offense so to speak. How to see opportunity in the places where things look impossible. Very good stuff really and a glimpse of how a man commands by watching and listening to Jeff who obviously can. But as his talk moved forward he got to talking about mentorship which is the next step after manhood. There is so much emphasis on achieving manhood that one thinks that it is the final step on the ladder. But mentoring comes next. And this was the main point of his talk, his plea.

This connects to yesterday’s post really nicely. Remember the desperate little bean who through pure will power got my attention and got to be part of the future. Well, he convinced me to make that investment in him, an investment in the future, his future, our future. And that is the basis of mentorship which starts with the decision to invest in that someone and the rest follows.

Off to breakfast and work. I have a retreat starting tonight that I will be fighting to get to. Yup, up up and away, love, Felipe.

Last evening we had a private showing of Phil’s Camino here in the living room of Raven Ranch house. Our Wiley worked miracles to get us linked up to it out there somewhere wherever it resides. We Skyped with Annie while we watched. It is 27 minutes long and the twelve of us watched it twice clutching Kleenexes and champagne flutes. Wow!

It is beautiful, soulful, poignant and funny here and there. To me as having been involved with much of the component parts it is amazing to see the whole (95% there). And the whole is a beautiful story and much larger than the pieces. I am so so lucky to have somehow been a part.

This early morning I was up at 0530 and scurrying around the kitchen making a fire and coffee and cleaning up the leftover party mess. I got to sweeping the floor of debris and had a little pile to scoop up when I spied one little dried bean there amoungst the crumbs, toothpicks and leaves. I knew exactly what it was by its distinctive shape, size and color as one of My Rebecca’s precious “Yu Hoh Wong” bean seeds that she faithfully collects and dries and saves for her next year’s garden. How easy it would have been to sweep that pile into the dustpan and on into the fire. But that one seed was crying out to get my attention. It started by telling me of its winter sleep that it was just embarking on with its deep subtle mysteries. It told me of the miracle of spring coming and a wonderful growing season full of such joy and promise. It told me of a bountiful harvest and how one seed would multiply to be a hundred provided with a little food, water, sun and protection. It said that it’s nourishment would help my family and friends prosper and that would ripple outward into the Universe. It said that after a beautiful summer it too would experience an meaningful autumn of life just as I was now. It’s beautiful framework would dry and get ready to go back to the earth but first it would give forth one precious pod that would contain the future provided that someone would pick it and dry it and save it.

OK OK I picked the little guy up and put him with his budddies in the little brown envelope there on the kitchen counter. A lesson from one little desperate Yu Hoh Wong bean seed, right? One seed is much much more than one seed I learned.

But it is so much like our desperate little 27 minute film. Somehow, someway it has gotten this far through thick and thin. It has survived on meager rations and a little moisture where it could find it. It begged, borrowed and stole. Saint James noticed it struggling and appreciated its intention and shortly afterward the Universe began to conspire in it’s strange convoluted way to push it forward to this point. We are so lucky to be here to ride along with it. But most importantly it is a little seed that promises much.

Happy to be a small part of the whole, love, Felipe.

Woke up in the early morning dark feeling exactly that, war weary. The chemo forces and the cancer forces duke it out constantly, all day, all night. There is some ebb and flow to it but it goes on and on and on. They are at each other’s throats right now as I try to maintain equilibrium in the bigger picture.

Keeping the battlefield cordoned off to just the body seems a full time project. They keep tumbling into the mind but I always manage to push them out with some considerable effort. My major fortune is that they will never reach my soul. They may occasionally cause disruption in my mind but that’s as far as they can get. Ooh, I like it. Never verbalized that before.

Looking at the cover of this month’s AARP magazine I spy along the edge of the cover a heading called “Healthy You”. Then under that: “50 Tips To Feel Amazing”. Cool! Feeling amazing is good, the last time I checked. Then under that are four of the tips, one of which is “Prevent Cancer”. Nice tip right? I’ll jump right on that right after I build a better s’more and after I get more out of my oil changes. I like the way they slipped that in there. What am I doing reading that anyway, that’s for old guys.

OK, we got all that stuff figured out, time to move on. Have to photograph a bunch of genuine Camino footgear so I can do their portraits. Have to fix some stuff over at Our Jennifer’s. Have to get ready for a job starting tomorrow. Have to, this is the big one, get ready for the sneak preview of a rough version of Phil’s Camino, the documentary, tonight. I will fill you on that tomorrow, all right?

Take care for now y’all, love every inch of you, Felipe.

OK, here I am and I accept the challenge. Today we are blogging about these itsy bitsy pickled cucumbers that are one of the yummy garlicky products from the kitchen of Catherine and Dana. They are tiny, you can see the dime in the pic. And they have stripes like real watermelons but they are cucumbers. So they were dubbed Mouse Watermelons, of course. And a big hit at tapas.

Can a blog post be written about these little veggies and then there is the question of why would anyone bother? I am bothering because ever since I heard this name I haven’t been able to get it out of my head? Maybe this will help me. See if you can do it now that you have heard it. Yea, mouse watermelons. See?

Hehe, love you, Felipe.

I hardly know what the word “blog” means but somehow we have managed to crank out 588 posts over the last year and a half. And I/we still seem to use I/we interchangeably you will notice along the way. And that is the important part, that we are moving along the Way together. I am meeting you, you are meeting me, you are meeting each other.

This all started back before Spain when Esther and the nurses at the hospital thought a blog was the perfect avenue for me to communicate with. And I said OK, not really knowing what I was getting into. Somehow the name Caminoheads came into my thoughts and I mentioned it to Annie and she jumped all over it. And for $84 I got a domain for two years and we/I were on the air.

But beside all that history I really want to thank you the readers that have been with me and brought so much encouragement. Just really want to thank you right now, right here, on November 2nd for being here. You really help make this what it is now.

And I would like to encourage you to leave a comment on a post that grabs you. I really thank all those folks that have done that in the past. So, much good inspirational juice has come from your thoughts bouncing off my thoughts and back and forth again. Some of the banter has been priceless. Don’t stop!

Yes, we all only have so much time, true. But now with winter setting in at least our Northern Hemisphere Caminoheads will need something to do during the gloomy darkness. So let me encourage you to craft up a thoughtful comment for all our benefit. Alperfect, althankful, love you, Felipe.

We are in between storms here too. It’s been raining and blowing like heck for a couple days and more to come. Have the generator all ready to go in case the power goes out. But this is the very stuff we were praying for back in August and September when it was so crispy dry.

I’m hoping for kind of a lazy day hopefully. Just want to spend time imagining Maggie on her birthday in Santiago. What a great scene. So happy for her at the moment and looking forward to her reflections coming up in the future.

OK, here comes the next storm, rain coming down. November is the storm month here and here we are the first of November. It is sort of like summer holds on longer than is natural and we all cheer it on but then when it can’t hold on any longer the winter force snaps back with a vengeance. That’s what November seems like to me.

Have a walk this afternoon and we are starting earlier because of the darkness. The afternoon walks we are moving from a 1600 to 1530 start for three months. I don’t know maybe we will have to back it up another half hour in December. All my walks the first time we hiked “across Spain” were in the morning and we never had this problem.

Probably have to walk the alternative trail today. The regular trail I call the “Mary” trail and it goes through the woods. But when it is stormy we stay out of there. Falling limbs are called widowmakers around here. So we have the “Joseph” trail that is safely all out in the open.

OK, we will be safely out of the storm and Maggie will safely be in Santiago. Sounds good to me. Later, love, Felipe.

Here are some recent emails between Maggie and myself:

Maggie ~ how are we doing over there? Good, bad or indifferent, doesn’t matter. There is no wrong way to do the Camino. We are there to gather insights, right? Insights, insights, insights feeding our inner Camino. Bless you sweetheart. Love you, Felipe.

How lovely to see your msg. Hard to believe one day before Santiago. The deeper part of me does not want this to end. I cannot express my experience on an Android. My battery is almost out so I will recap from home. Maggie

Maggie ~ so glad to hear from you and to hear that you are on schedule. Have to admit that I was a little worried about you but you are fine. Sometimes deadlines can ruin a good thing. I will put up a post with your words. Thanks for taking the time. Love you,, Phil.

Leaving now
..not sure my words are that interesting
I was going to recap when I returned home. Now, off to Santiago!! Maggie