At some point during the night’s waking moments I had one of those crystalline thoughts that I immediately realized I needed to write down. But no, fell asleep again, as I was exhausted. Remarkably the thought persisted though and I could examine it twice more as I had my random awakenings and here it is morning and I still have it!
Fodder for these thoughts come from my own questioning and from conversing with cancer campers and commandos who I am in constant contact with. Seems we are preoccupied with the “big” questions. Why this or why that, right?
But OK, my thought was, “My purpose (earthly purpose) is not to try and live forever (earthly life) but to try and complete my journey (my purpose).” Am I fulfilling my mission as opposed to just trying to lengthen my life for it’s own sake. The stress, the emphasis should be on the journey that gives my life meaning and not on keeping this old body going at all cost.
If I surrender to God’s will I can move beyond this trap of worry about the importance of my own days. What are my days anyway if I give up on my journey, my mission? They are only important in terms of what I am doing with them!
Thank you for being with me here, wrestling in the goulash I call it lately. And this opens the way to being able to pray for myself better now. “Give me the days to fulfill my mission!” seems like a prayer that makes sense to me here and now.
Off to breakfast and work. Thanks for being here for me, love, Felipe.
Good Morning Felipe,
I saw that moonset as well. Your prayer is beautiful “Give me the days to fulfill my mission.” What else is there really. And when we can’t exactly explain what that mission is we can rest in the faith that God knows and on some level we know and so we walk together confident in our faith that as our Camino friend Michelle said: “God has me right where he wants me.” Bless you and all who are walking whether they call it that or not. Blessings, blessings, blessings and peace.
Catherine ~ so glad to have you close to me. Yes, God has us right where he wants us, is a good way of looking at it. Hope to see you soon. Love, Felipe.
“What are my days anyway” you ask. We can’t always know and I’m right there with you on that thought. Perhaps Sister Joyce would tell us “It’s the great Mystery”. But what I can tell you, is that all the love you put out there enfolds each of us who know you with a peace and connectedness to something greater. Thank you for taking the time to make all things brighter.
Jennifer ~ such a pleasure to walk with you even if it is across this strange landscape. You mean a lot to me, to us. Thanks, Felipe.