I am off in a few minutes to go to Swedish Hospital and get my portable chemo pump disconnected that has been my constant companion since Tuesday. I have nicknamed it or him Pancho, like the sidekick of the old TV cowboy show Cisco Kid from way back in the fifties. But before I get there I am going to take a little side trip (my sidekick is going on a side trip) to the Sacred Heart Radio Station. These are the folks that had me do the radio interview which you can listen to on Sound Cloud back a week or so ago on this blog.

So, I will be doing some extra driving this AM and I am checking with my guardian angel for her help in the extra morning traffic that I will have to navigate. At some point I realized, after having three hair raising close calls on the highway, that constant worrying about my cancer could be a moot point compared with this source of danger. I am using this in my mentoring with others, and that is that taking up the precious days that we have with worry is cheating ourselves of this unique time. I have heard it said that worry is a tool of the devil and maybe that says it.

So the message to you my fearless readers is that we all have precious few days, whether this has been made obvious or not, let’s not waste them with worry about things that are ou of our hands. Have faith that the universe is conspiring in our favor, we just need to realize it and play along. That’s my take.

I have to shower and go. So for now, it’s alperfect in the big picture. Oh, but one of my rememberances from the Camino that might be appros and that is in one of the many many churches that Kelly and I visited there was a uniquely different statue of our Mother Mary where she had this big huge smile. The smile was bigger than it needed to be in other words. A message? Did she know something that we have yet to learn? With love to you, Felipe.

Just kind of relaxing and taking a deep breath after the heavy parts of the filming are over. Annie got on her plane last evening. Todd, Jessica, My Rebecca and I went out for a dinner to kind of put a wrap on our ideas about the movie. I just wanted to make sure the general theme of the film was in line with how I see things. I want it to be an accurate portrayal of who I am. I want credit being given to all the sources of inspiration, technical help, love, clarity and prayer that is
the foundation of the story about this guy, who “is just a guy”. My only claim to fame is that I answered a call and the rest is the rest… I am surrounded by this incredible constellation of people that are helping me navigate through my present life. And of course God’s help and inspiration and God’s helper the seemingly ever present St. James are always available. So, that is what we talked about.

So, I am really excited that Jessica is going to help me put some improvements on this blog later today. You will see a slightly different look starting tomorrow. Also, we will be connected to other important sources of information and inspiration with live links. Yea, coming soon.

So, to you my fearless readers, stay tuned for you never ever know what tomorrow will bring. Surprises ahead! Have a GREAT day, love you, Felipe.

Todd and I are talking while we wait for Dr Gold’s appointment. So we are being playful as we enjoy each other. Jess and Annie are coming and going. We have escorts to get us from one place to another. Yea, we are here trying to capture the chemo reality without being too in the way with all the important stuff going on.

Just have a minute here in between things and I want to say something to all the folks that send in nice words to me from all over the world via FaceBook and other means. All good, alperfect you all.

I’m kind of exhausted after treatment and all the filming projects of the last few days. But I’ll bounce back, that’s what I do. Thanks to you and promise to stay in touch, love Felipe.

Hey there Caminoheads! Annie here, writing for Felipe. Wow, what a beautiful time we have been having the last few days. A few years ago I considered myself the luckiest woman in the world when I met the man who would end up being my husband. Still do! Then I considered myself the luckiest woman in the world because I got to be part of Walking the Camino: Six Ways to Santiago, both as a co producer and as a pilgrim in that film. Still do! Now I consider myself he luckiest woman in the world because I am producing Phil’s Camino, starring you know who. That’s right, starring our very own Big Kahuna, or shall I say Big Caminohead, Phil! I’m sure you are all well aware of this project. If by any chance you don’t know about it, check it out at www.philscamino.com . Not only has it been a great pleasure hanging around with Phil but also working with the incredible crew we have assembled. The Team, we call each other. Jessica, Todd, and Rebecca, aka Rocky, are the team and although Rocky couldn’t be here this time she was with us in spirit. Also Dominick who has joined our crew on two occasions now, both times increasing not just the quality of work but somehow lifting the entire project with his quiet vibe of excellence. He is one of those people who just makes you want to be better because he is so good, do you know what I mean? The whole team is like that actually. I want to be the best producer I can be because of how good they are at what they do.
Phil asks me sometimes how things got so good, and I just nod and agree instead of answering him. Yeah, tell me about it! I, too, am surrounded by excellence, heartfelt dedication, love and commitment. How about you? Where is the excellence? If it is not immediately apparent maybe it is you! Let’s all just take that on for the day, shall we? Being the excellence everywhere we go. It can look very different from one situation to another, so don’t think this is a ‘set it and forget it’ kind of deal. Nope. You have to figure out what excellence is in each situation, then go for it! So here’s to excellence, whatever it may look like! It would be great to hear from you and hear all about your excellence or the excellence of someone you admire. Buen Camino my friends!

We are working and partying here at the ranch. Filming is going on for the documentary. The list of things to accomplish is getting shorter. Annie, Jessica and Todd are here. Dom is here doing sound. Various luminaries are showing up to be in the mix.

I am just so happy to be a part of this same mix, this happy dance. Out of all this effort will come a film that will help change people’s minds about what they can and can’t do with cancer. We are focused on seeing this proceed through to it’s conclusion. Thanks to the many people that have helped, prayed, encouraged and guided us. Dancing on, love, Felipe.

That’s what Annie just said to me, “You could blog.” I have a few minutes after my bible class and Annie and the film crew are doing interviews with some of the members/ my buddies. So, with some minutes to have a blog moment with you.

I’m just listening to my buddy Steve doing an interview and talking about the Camino on Vashon. And Steve walked with me on the very first lap when it opened in December 2014. I was just looking at the logbook yesterday.

Today and over the next few days we will be capturing walking on the backyard Camino. Filming is interesting to me because it involves trying to get as much as possible and without regard to what we are thinking is important. The important magical moment that makes the difference, that really says something is hard to anticipate. Things happen and hopefully it gets captured.

Then on Tuesday we will be over to Seattle to be at Swedish Cancer Institute to capture what my treatment day looks like. It will be interesting being in the busy environs of the hospital and filming. Will tell you more later on that.

So, I will leave you here today. I am involved with what goes on with the filming schedule and things are busy and I usually don’t know what is happening next so, up up and away. I’m glad you all came, love, Felipe.

(And now the always insightful Australian pilgrim Cherry. She always seems to come through when I need her. Thank you Cherry for being with us so consistently. This piece/peace speaks to me).

Here you go Phil, love you x plenty of funny spelling in this one for you guys again. Would you prefer I wrote with US spelling?

This morning I watched a fascinating TED video about a Social Scientist Academic, Dr Brown, who was talking about her research into human connections. About half way through said research, Dr Brown experienced what she referred to as a ‘breakdown’, and promptly went off to see a therapist. But the therapist didn’t refer to her situation as a ‘breakdown’, instead named it a ‘spiritual awakening’.

It made me reflect on my current situation and my perspective. I thought, many people would see my current predicament as a breakdown. After all, I have no job, I have no home of my own and I have no partner. I realised that I hadn’t looked at my life this way. I remember someone once saying to me that there are 3 important pillars of a stable life; a job, a home and a loving partner. And I have often repeated this to others and believed it myself.

I have none of these things, yet I feel the happiest I have ever felt in my life. I am free to spend my days however I want. I guess I am blessed to have some savings still so I don’t have to rush out and find any old job so there is that going in my favour. But I’m lacking what I always believed the fundamental pillars of life to be and yet I am content with that.

I can practice yoga and meditation every day. I can go to the beach and swim in the ocean. I can spend the whole day reading a book or writing one. I can even spend the afternoon having philosophical and spiritual debates with my semi-retired mum. And I have learnt that these are the best of the best for me, my true pillars of life. They are the things I love doing for myself and that I deserve to do these things. And although some may view my current situation as a breakdown, I know that this is all part of my spiritual awakening.

If you would like to watch the TED video I was referring to you can view it here: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

Are you ready for this, there is a trail that goes from Canterbury, England to Rome, as in Rome, Rome! OK, find your boots and pack! Who would have thought?

My good Camino buddy, Lucia, is going to do some of it in Italy in the next few days. So, she is educating me. There is an excellent Wikipedia.

But, I am going to give you the short, according to Felipe, version, just because it is so much fun for me to think about. So, this was the way to visit the Holy See and the tombs of Peter and Paul in the olden days . It goes though England, France, Switzerland and Italy. The most notable pilgrim was, ready for this, Sigeric the Serious, a serious pilgrim for sure.

“Circa 990 AD, Archbishop Sigeric journeyed from Canterbury to Rome and then back again but only documented his itinerary on the return journey.[6] Sigeric’s return journey consisted of 80 stages averaging about 20 km (12 mi) a day, for a total of some 1,700 km (1,100 mi).[7]” (from Wikipedia)

From my reading I see that the trail is not as organized as the Camino in Spain. But they are working on it with Italy leading the way. So, check it out in Wikipedia and make history come alive, as they say.

OK, I have to go and tidy up. We are having company today. The Rev Bonnie Barnard is going to be here to visit. She is a friend of Annie’s and soon to be a friend of mine. She has a website that you could check out, bonniebarnard.com .

So until we met again, lovin your stuff, Felipe.

Hi. I had a couple of things to talk about and maybe I could conveniently wrap them in the embrace of our guardian angels. I was off grocery shopping yesterday and saw a candle that I had to have for tapa time. It is a 100 hour guardian angel model with a beautiful pic of the angel sheparding two children away from the edge of the cliff. Sort of pluperfect.

One of my new friends is off to chemo treatment today and I am praying for her. It is new for her and it is a frightening time, I can remember and relate. Things are unfamiliar on the outside and strange things are happening to mind and body on the inside. Normal starts to escape. But, I am trying to make a difference for her. Yea.

And today for me started rather strangely. I could relate facts to you but would rather say how it felt. I’m not sure that I have been in this space before and I am not sure that it is over. But I am OK, not to worry. But it was a place where one too many quirky things were happening. Or a place where things in my surroundings were talking to me a little too much. Things felt sort of a click off from “normal”.

Interesting, now that I am writing this, how my experience dovetails with how I think that my friend is feeling. Interesting. I think that I will turn the whole matter over to our guardian angels and move on. How’s that? I can do that nowadays.

There is blue sky and little puffy clouds blowing from the Southwest. I got a lot of things on my list today so I will leave you now and get going. Think about guardian angels some, Felipe.

http://wapo.st/1E7REqS

A good friend sent me this info and I am passing it on to you. On washingtonpost.com is a story called “Before I Go”. It is about the young Stanford Neurosurgeon, Dr Paul Kalanithi, who left this writing and a short video for us before he passed away. Just thoughts about things that you might want to check out.

But also, the guy uses the word “pluperfect”. Of course, here at Caminoheads we deal with the perfect all the time as in alperfect. But this was a new one and had to get to the big fat dictionary for help and it comes to: beyond perfect. Whoa! We have been working on beyond normal and now we have beyond perfect. OK, need time to digest, Felipe.