Same pic as yesterday but more than half are showing now. But Sunday it all will be up, God willing.
Oh, not a holdup but I had another obstacle in the clinical trial of my cancer treatment. After my testing yesterday my number that was too high was still just slightly too high so I have another week off. It is coming down to the good range but not quite good enough for the protocol. So, one more week of good energy with no chemicals and the corn will appreciate it I am sure.
Am I seeing everything in terms of the corn, well maybe I am. Cris had a comment today sort of implying that. Well, could be worse, a lot worse. At some point lately I started realizing all the little myths and quests that I would think up to keep myself excited and going. None of it is so-called “real” or “factual” it is just Philthink. I hope I am making slight sense. Some of my best blog posts are in this category.
So, yea, it’s all happening as usual and this and that needs to be contended with but we march on, we walk on, we journey on. If we hear the music in our heads that keeps us sane during all this we are truly blessed.
Off to the city this afternoon for a checkin at the hospital. And taking Jessika to the airport for her trip to Rome. In the meantime the sun is out over Raven Ranch. The corn and the weeds are growing. I can put some energy and time in on weed control since the intermittent rain is watering it just dandy.
Let me take some time and energy right here to work on the NEWS ABOUT THE CAMINOHEADS CONVENTION:
Just to repeat some of the important stuff. We are having open house here at the ranch August 23- 26th. That’s four days of activities with plenty of time for gabbing and telling lies with fellow pilgrims. Most of the Bureau Chiefs will be here. I am assigning BC’s with duties while they are here and we will have a few meetings.
If you are flying in you need to arrive at SeaTac airport. Find your way to the Washington State Fauntleroy Ferry Dock in West Seattle, half hour from the airport. Cross over to Vashon on ferry that takes cars and passengers. We will in most cases be able to pick you up from the ferry dock here on the Vashon side if you are on foot. We will need a certain amount of rental cars so if you can afford one please get one.
We have plenty of camping available for tents and camper vehicles. We will have porta potties. We will have an outdoor kitchen available for campers.
This will be corn season and we should have plenty of corn to provide some for everyone. We can bbq, grill and potluck our way through this. Vashon has two supermarkets and a dozen eateries.
I am sure that there are plenty of b and b’s available if you get one early. Please RSVP at caminoheads@outlook.com before June 15th with the number in your party.
I am expecting around fifty interesting people to show up. Father Tom Hall is coming as is filmmaker Annie O’Neil. Cris Milher will be here from Buenos Aires, William Hayes from Calgary and John Conway from Iowa. Our Puget Sound Western Washington Bureau Chief Ryck Thompson is arriving by boat naturally. My Rebecca, the fabulous Catherine y Dana combo will be here. I expect a good representation of local Caminoheads to show up.
Think about it and come if you can. It will be fun and as always memorable. In the words of Chris, Caminoheads love togethernessing. That’s the plan.
Yesterday about five percent of the little corn shoots were in the sunshine. I was watering and started to see suspicious little protrusions. It was only after I identified places where there were three or four in a row with the right spacing that I called Jim in Buffalo to celebrate with him over the phone. It is jumping out!
It started showering today and will be through the weekend so I will get relief from the watering chore. Just raking between the corn rows to cultivate and hamper the pesky weed sprouts. Water is a concern and weeds too, feeding deer comes next. But all the corn should be up for Pilgrim Farmer John’s visit this Sunday. He has come all these miles to see us and bless the field. I’m sooo happy.
And this all is mighty big news in my world. Have to get up and go for right now. It has showered lightly outside but still may be dry enough to mow some. OK, tomorrow, love, Felipé.
The middle of the month of May and you can practically see things grow here. Mow, mow and more mowing going on. The sound of chainsaws in the neighborhood has been replaced with the racket of riding mowers hitting various items in the tallish grass, ah Spring.
In the last few days the topic of survival came up. Someone, maybe Jim, brought up this book he had just read and asked if I had read it. And that brought up the memory of my two year exploration of books on survival. That was mostly outdoor survival or survival in the military sense with some prison camp thrown in. I pretty much read all there was to read on the topic and one day moved on to something else, a next phase but learn a lot and it proved to be valuable to me in my cancer camino.
Last evening I located this book that I bought at the time of the Chilean Mine Collapse back ten, twelve years ago. I was so impressed by the teamwork and expertise of the parties involved to get all the miners out of there in good shape. We all watched it on TV and it added to my bank of knowledge on the topic.
So, back to the original question recently of whether I had read a particular survival book. I think I answered in some smart ass way that I was too busy writing my own survival story at the moment. Which is one hundred percent truthful. That is exactly the situation. And one of the things that is just becoming apparent is the eerie similarity between my book of the year last year Radical Remission about cancer survival with this book The Survivors Club that I am introducing to you today. The table of contents are sooo similar.
Both books are about survival but in different realms. One side could definitively learn fro the other side like I did accidentally. Well, very nice.
Walking in a few moments. The best to you where you are, love, Felipé.
Father David gave a wonderful homily today at Mass on Mother’s Day. You can tell that he must have had a great relationship with his Mother to come up with that kind of a talk. Some of us it seems have had more complicated relationships. But me that as it may I now know that Mother Mary is there for all of us nonstop as it were.
Jim and Gloria are off back to Buffalo. The corn is in and happy, so far so good. I am going to catch some lunch and get out there to start watering and cultivating. I am so going to be on top of the weeds this year. It was great to see my corn friends again, maybe there is another planting in us for next year.
It is so peaceful right now as I write to you. I guess having company is fun and not having company is fun, a win win. Sherie from San Diego is supposed to be here this afternoon for the Sunday walk at 4. I’ll be ready for that.
So, to all Mom’s out there, blessed be your day there. You are doing lovely important work. It is always good to remember your contribution to our well being. Thank you, you are appreciated.
Early = Sugar Buns, Middle = Bodacious and Late = Golden Jubilee.
During these breaks in the chemotherapy I try my best to put on the pounds that I will need to get me through the next hard spot on the trail. Jim and I went to my bible class this morning and stopped at the grocery store on the way back. He kindly bought me six cartons of ice cream to help in my effort. Saying that this is the fastest easiest way. OK, doctor’s orders on this.
The weather continues to be summery and we are off after I get done here with this post to water the 🌽 corn 🌽. My babies, all 1600 of them. Did you like the pics yesterday? Jim Meiklejohn took those to give him credit. He is a good photographer and our friend. Many there are a few more to post today, I’ll look.
So, I got some more positive feedback on my poem/prayer that I read at National Day of Prayer. I am so happy that it resonated with so many folks. Part of one comment was that yes, inspiration can come from bad things. Yup, that’s part of the Camino of it all and a large part of the Cancer Camino.
OK, up up and away. Saturday sort of loves, Felipé.
The whole thing.The sprouted Bodacious seed going in.Jim
Yesterday we got all the corn seed planted, tucked away in the nice moist warm soil. It’s all in the right place with the right spacing and depth, quality AND quantity. Thank you to old friends Jim and Gloria and new friend another Jim who took the nice pics.
So, now to combat the weeds. Every year I vow to not let them get ahead of me and every year I fail to greater or lesser extent. You know the Garden of Eden didn’t have any weeds. Yea, just saying.
Another beautiful day in the making so time to water the corn and plant some trees that Jim brought from Buffalo for us. We are off to tapas at Catherine and Dana’s at 1700. Trying to figure out how to FaceTime with Cris CSABC from there. Pretty near alperfect around here!
I have four beautiful comments today after yesterday’s post. Check those out. And I am copying and pasting Cris’s mega long and thoughtful comment here in a minute. It is so personal, bless her. But first I have to fill you in on what happened yesterday at the doc’s.
It is not long and involved but short and simple. My one renegade number came down significantly with one week of vacation. So, I am having another week off and then going in next Wednesday for another test to see where we are at. If it is below the threshold then I get to continue the trial but at a lower dosage of the agent. And if I am not below I will have another week off. I have six weeks to complete this process. Sounds all scientific and tidy. So I am remaining optimistic.
So, really the main point is that some nice comments came in on the topic of me saying that I wonder if this is the last time I will plant corn? Jokingly Henriette said, “Don’t buy green bananas” in her comment. That’s funny!
But here is what our Caminoheads South America Bureau Chief Cris wrote:
Dear Phil,
What a poignant post… I should be turning on my work computer but I decided to post a comment here. In this culture when we think that “time is clicking” only when we get a diagnosis of a life-threatening illness (not even the others!!!) or when as women we arrive to the 40ies, it is easy to forget that we are mortal human beings, all of us, at A N Y T I M E. And in this culture too, when we talk about “lost battles” or “life has been taken by…” we forget that life just happens, and we live the life we have been given, and while we do have choices, we don’t choose the life we have.
And I am going to go personal here, mostly because by now, the readers here are my neighbors and my fellow pilgrims and going personal (or sharing our hearts) is what we do with those who share our lives with us.
My mother died at 39 years old of liver cancer. I was 5 years old when that happened. And I have not a single memory of her, or my life with her, how she looked like, nothing… And for many many years, I told that “My mother died when I was 5” as if I would be saying “I bought plants for my apartment”… it was part of my story, but I was not owing it. In 2013 I went to London for the first time and visited Kensington Palace, well not the palace, but the gardens, and there is a small tower with a clock and there is this sentence written below the clock that reads: “Time flies”. I was recently divorced and for the first time thought that since a very young age I knew that time is short, that lives can be taken at a young age, even if you have young children to look after, even if you have a lot to do, a career to pursue, a mortgage to pay, a trip to do, still to meet the love of your life, etc. but I never thought that way before and that haunted me for a while. The next year I went to the Camino. I spoke with my boss and while my job was the best thing that was going on in my life back then, I said that if I wouldn’t be granted a leave, I would be quitting. I was granted an 8 weeks leave and I left.
Thinking of my mother’s story, the Camino and John O’Donohue’s book, my own life experiences, all that started to re-shape my way of seeing “life”, not even my own life but everybody’s, and it was more clear to me that we are here on a journey, that is more likely to be an on-foot one, that a speedy highway one… and while preparation is key, it doesn’t grant an insurance, even many who have trained before going to the Camino got blisters and injuries that made them stop their pilgrimage, change their plans, skip sections, etc. Some others were lucky to get to Santiago, but the ones who got there, realized that the journey continues beyond Santiago, and by then we know that our journey may be cut short because of blisters and injuries; or that our journey may include skipped sections. But, as pilgrims too, we rejoice in the fact that we left the comfort of our lives in our sofa, and set on a pilgrimage, that has nothing spectacular, it is not easy, it includes the risk of being cut short, or blisters and injuries, but I am sure at some point we will be able to tell the story of our lives and the best will probably be if we can say: “I had such a great journey.”
But the reality is that nobody knows when it will be that moment, blisters and injuries only are reminders that we have to do the best with the time we have walking. The ones who don’t have blisters and injuries, may just walk mindless and are taking the risk of their lives being taken by a car rolling over them…
Just a couple days before Jean Vanier’s death, I was listening to the conversation Krista Tippet had with him. I had listened to it before more than once, but each time, it is revealing. This last time it touched me thinking of my aunt and her disease too.. but anyway, in that conversation, he said the below:
“Death is a passage, which will be an extraordinary discovery, something that’ll be so amazing that we can’t even imagine it. It’s like my little niece who died of AIDS, and she wasn’t a believer. She said, “What it’s going to be like?” And I said, “Well, you’re going to fall asleep. And when you wake up, you’ll be in such joy, such peace. Something that you’ve never, never lived before.” And she said, “But I’m not a believer.” I said, “But you remember when you were in that apartment in Paris, and there were some Turkish immigrants that you make cakes for them. I’ve always seen you as somebody kind. And so your kindness, you’ll find — it’ll be OK. And then the rest we will discover. It’s going to be exciting. It’s going to be wonderful.”
I am not strong in my faith, but I hang into the fact that I love my neighbors and fellow pilgrims!
Genuine Love,
Cris
Thank you immensely dear Cris. It all seems as you say loves, Felipé.
Writing from the ferry boat. Have to squeeze this post in between events, hospital then airport. It is beautiful again this morning. The sun is breaking through the usual morning marine clouds. The water is very calm as we cruise. The barometric pressure is high with stable weather for us. Looks like corn planting time to me.
The planting project is in high gear with the prep all done and with Jim coming today. Hopefully we will start putting the seeds in tomorrow morning. So, exciting!
There always is that thought rattling around in my brain that this could be the last corn crop for me. Can’t be helped really with the state of things, the uncertainty of things. Of course this is true for all of us young or old that every darn thing is the last but we never ever dwell on that naturally.
Coming into the dock, another successful crossing. It is really a miracle that we continually take for granted. No problem, we are good at that. But today I am thinking that my corn could be my last, but who’s dwelling.
Time to disembark, see you at the hospital. Ah, the traffic was bad but here I am. All parked and seated and waiting. Hello to this person and that person, been here way too long, know everyone.
Today the main thing here is to work out if I am continuing the clinical trial that was interrupted last time due to a substandard number. Yea, so I trust the doc to navigate through the protocols on this and get me the best deal. The best deal is what I hope for, right?
So, back to the topic of the feeling that this is the last time I do something. Maybe this is my last hospital visit. Maybe this and maybe that. I guess the takeaway is to not take things for granted, right?
I am going to sign off for now. The doc is going to call me in momentarily. Th best to you this day. One thing at a time loves, Felipé.
