I switched those words around didn’t I? Maybe it is Moreons In The Goulash or The Possibility Of More Goulash. I’m getting confused here. I think what I am shooting for is More On The Goulash Of Possibilities. Yea, that’s it.

Our Jennifer had this conversation yesterday while we walked sparked by our visit to the neighbor with the cancer hobby. He left an impression on us with his methodical manner in finding his way down his walk using building blocks of logic. These are my words. Jennifer was analyzing his method and trying to find parts and hints for her own thinking for her own walk.

All this sparked some words from my thinking which I have been rethinking and mulling over since. Somehow my thinking is less logical, precise, scientific. I tend to work off my gut, my instincts, my intuition. My right brain straining against the harness wanting to go to work. So in that realm what do I come up with?

I tend to gather broad landscapes and try to boil them down to their essence.
All mechanisms have a central underlying idea. Getting to that and understanding it and ultimately putting the concept to use seems a way, a method, a guiding principle. Sometimes I find a part of something that seems to explain the whole. Maybe like finding a table of contents to a book will give you a pretty good idea what is going on. Yea, so?

Well we were talking about the phenomenon of cancer and our ability to deal with it on a personal level. Personal is the keyword here. That is how I am viewing my Cancer lately. It is very very personal to me now. It does not have to do with anything external to me. It’s all mine, every single cell. It’s my own body run amuck, a loose cannon, an onboard fire. Somehow I created it, caused it, encouraged it, kept it going. I did? I did.

That’s mysterious. Just why would I do that? I don’t know the answer to that but realizing that I did so much to put me in this particular situation may mean that I also have some room and ability to start to heal from the inside out so to speak. In other words if I have the ability to move in one direction maybe I should stop and see if I can move it the opposite direction. What would that look like or mean? Does that make any sort of sense?

When I look at the goulash of possibilities in the area of cancer cure presented to me I glaze over. There are so many and they mostly seem plausible and on top of that they seem to have a certain amount of success individually. How can one choose in this goulash of treatment ideas? And how come they all seem to have a certain amount of success that keeps the idea alive? Is just sitting still and smiling also in the goulash?

Somehow I am guessing that the individual, the cancer hobbyist, is a big factor in all these equations. His or her very personal makeup, energy, thinking, being, fear, is the center of gravity around which the other factors revolve and are influenced by. I’m on thin ice here but there is something going on and I am hot on the trail of it.

Oops, time to go walk and get to Ronsavalles on Phil’s Camino. Thanks for putting up with me and my half baked goulash, love, Felipe.