Gracie was born and lives in Australia. It took me walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain to meet her. I was attracted to her smile first thing which set her apart in a gaggle of pilgrims and sunflowers one morning. I used to say that her smile could change the weather.

Ah, she sent a message yesterday, I presume from the east coast of Australia where she was the last time I heard. She has been on a journey with her music. Still need to find out more details.

So she is in a few scenes in Phil’s Camino as she accompanied Kelly and I for a few days up to Burgos. Then she was flying off to somewhere and Kelly and I went on into the Meseta, trudge, trudge. I remember how she went out of her way to walk us out to the western edge of the city to say goodbye there. It’s gosh hard to leave some people.

And most famously she was in the church scene in the film where Phil collapses. Yea, he fell into the Arms of Grace there in that little church in that little town along the Way. Somehow it was Phil who fell down and Felipé who rose up at that particular time and place.

So, you see it is so great that she checked in. Funny how supposed chance meetings on the Camino seem so lasting. Everything seems alperfect and in fact maybe it is.

walking on loves, Felipé.

I’m a little out of sync as our church service got cancelled yesterday morning. Father David not feeling up to it last minute. Prayers for the Padre. So Catherine and I wound up going out to eat breakfast at one of the local eateries. We seem to be able entertain ourselves no matter what. That’s a good pilgrim trait.

Lately I have been spending a lot of time with correspondence as in emails, letters and phone calls and I am afraid that it has been cutting into my blogging time and energy. Today I am sending a copy of Phil’s Camino off to the folks at Radical Remission. Lot of networking going on.

Also, coming up I and Wiley are trying to get away on an elk hunting trip something like the 1st through the 10th of November. So, there will be no walks scheduled during that period. I will put a formal notice up on Wednesday with the walking schedule.

And Wednesday I am back to The Institute for my scan, blood work and doctor’s appointment. It will be an all day affair. All part of my walk on the Cancer Camino.

Speaking of walking we are on our morning walk here in a few minutes. Seems like nice enough weather out, cloudy and calm. I am reading a little book on the basics of weather lately so I’m all about that right now.

OK, do the best you can on your Camino today. It all deserves your attention. Be with you later at tapas.

later at tapas loves, Felipé.

It was at the Veranda that Cris was quoting David Whyte I think saying, “Your plans are too small for you to live.” If that’s not exactly it, it’s close. Isn’t that a great quote, a great thought. In other words we don’t think big enough and our plans can get in the way.

Then My Rebecca said on the film, “I never expected any thing like this!” She was speaking about how Cancer, Catholicism and the Camino changed our lives together.

Then I said in a blog post recently that a Cancer diagnosis steals one’s plans for the future. They seem to go on hold or disappear from your thinking. All of a sudden the future has changed or more accurately your vision of the future has changed.

Are these things fitting together in some way? Are we saying that an unexpected life change might be a good thing? It might clear away small ideas, small intentions and make room for something bigger and better.

Would a meeting with Dr Zucker be possible without Cancer? Would Phil have built a trail for an exercise program on his own without a diagnosis? Would Phil have run off with the Camino with his old sensibilities before the diagnosis? Would the meeting between Phil and Annie O’Neil happen on it’s own without the drama of the Cancer.

Seems like all one big conspiracy to me at the moment. Someone asked at the last QandA, “What if you had a choice to live our life without your Cancer. Would you choose to not have the disease?” The question absolutely stopped me in my tracks. What is that? Seems like that should be a easy call for a normal person.

big conspiracy loves, Felipé.

Woah, we got through Fear Week and Ryck’s Guest Post on Friday and here we are with the opening day of deer season and college football on TV. Oh yea and lead class at my Bible Guys today. Geez,slow down Felipé.

One of my Bible Guys Tom was telling us about one of his grandkids, a boy named Ollie, who got diagnosed with cancer recently. Geez, this so sobering. This hits me personally so badly. And not because I know Ollie. Just because.

I use humor to ward off the effects of my Cancer and with other adults to get them to loosen up. But when I comes to children getting Cancer it is another story. I haven’t been around it much and it is something else altogether. Anyway pray for Ollie please.

Right now my iPad is somehow low on battery and it’s lunchtime. Well, tomorrow is our afternoon walk so come by if you can. in the meantime try to brighten someone’s life just because.

later loves, Felipé.

I am so honored to write this Blog post on behalf of Phil for the Friday BC, Caminoheads post…One day as I walked through my local park, “Fish Park” in Poulsbo, WA, I saw on the ground, nestled next to some wet, Washington State autumn tree leaves, a cover of an old newspaper. The cover of the old “North Kitsap Herald” had a small picture of a guy on it with a ball cap and he was walking around a path. The title of the picture said, “Vashon Island man walks his own Camino”. I knew what the Camino was as I saw the movie, “The Way”, like so many of us pilgrims have. This was sometime in 2015. I had only moved to Poulsbo some 2 years earlier as it was my last duty station in the Navy before I retired in 2017. When I saw “The Way”, I knew that I would walk the Camino when I retired from the Navy. It finally happened in the summer of 2017. When I walked, a man named Steve Watkins began to follow me on Facebook. We became good Facebook, Camino chums. One day Steve messaged me to inform me he was coming to Seattle to visit “Phil’s Camino”. He invited me to meet Phil at Swedish Institute in Seattle. It was then it dawned on me that Phil was the guy from the old newspaper on the ground in the middle of the park in Poulsbo I had read about some 3 years prior. When I arrived with Steve Watkins to Swedish to meet Phil, I expected to see someone looking like perhaps they just got a chemo treatment. Then when Phil walked out, that is not what I saw. I saw a man that instantly reminded me of my Grandfather who had passed in 2009. He had the same demeanor, same mannerisms. Phil has a way of bringing a certain energy into the room unlike no other person I have met. Later on after meeting Phil, I went to his house and walked the path I originally read about on that old, faded newspaper I saw on the ground at the park. As I walked with Phil, I realized that I felt like I was at home in his yard, on his path. I love his wife Rebecca as dearly, such a straight shooter that lady, I couldn’t have loved it any better. I knew then as I know now that all of us here on this blog or at the Veranda, or that go to Raven Ranch, we are all a part of something much bigger than the Camino itself. The Camino was merely the conduit that brought Phil to us, and us to him. The energy that comes from these gatherings, these conversations are truly magical to me. To us. In the Navy, if you make Chief Petty Officer, the saying is, “The Anchors pick you, you do not pick the anchors”. The anchors are the symbol of the rank of the Chief. I always felt as if the Camino either calls to you or it doesn’t. The Camino calls to you, you do not pick the Camino. Certain energies attract certain people. How lucky are we all to have that, whatever it is, attract us all together from many different backgrounds and areas of the world. I know, matter of fact, that what is happening at Phil’s house, on Phil’s Camino is something that we will always reflect on for the rest of our lives. Something we will all know we were so fortunate to have been a part of. Henry Ford once said, “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it….” With Phil, I feel that is exactly what he does with each chemo treatment. He flies against the wind and every time he does this and he fights back, we are all inspired. We all fly with him. We fly with him on this blog and on his Camino. We are all flying with you, Phil. Please know that.
Flying loves for Phil,
Ryck Thompson – Puget Sound, WA. Bureau Chief.

Need to wrap this up today as Ryck Thompson our Caminoheads Puget Sound Bureau Chief will be our guest blogger tomorrow. We need to open the door for him and be over our fear topic for now. Thinking that we made good progress on it and we can take it up at another time when the inspiration strikes.

This is the way Felipé sees it. Personally I am not going to cure Cancer. As a disease that is up to the doctors, researchers and labs around the world. But that is only part of the world of Cancer. If Cancer is more than the disease, if we can see how much fear is attached to it maybe we can do something about that. Maybe fear is something that we can target.

Fear and worry, it’s brother, became an issue for me when working with Dr Zucker my rehab doctor. Patients undergoing chemo need to be aware of how they use their energy. To function with limited resources one has to learn to conserve. It soon became apparent that energy wasted on fear and worry were huge losses. So work in this area could yield huge gains.

This is how lessening the fear became something to work on for me personally. Any energy saved could be used for positive purposes. It became a path. This is the Way that I have been following.

But it seems that the next level to this is that my gains can inspire you and your gains can inspire me. We are not isolated cases. We rub up against others all the time. Working on lessening the fear can be a community project in a way if we saw it that way.

Well, I just wanted to leave on a high note and let Ryck take over tomorrow with his views. And here we are in the middle of October and there is a light frost out there. Time to walk in a minute.

community project loves, Felipé.

“Making the most of today is the key to a well lived life.” That just came in from Cris commenting on yesterday’s post. Yes, I am with you on that.

Yes, there is more to it than just living in the present. Living in the present should not include a disregard for the past or the future. Living in the present should not sort of impinge upon the past or the future. It is just the emphasis that is placed on today.

I ran into trouble with this yesterday as I started thinking about the ranch and growing crow and living in harmony with the seasons. That takes one out of the strict live for today esthetic. Each season has it’s chores. Maybe chores isn’t the right word. But there are things to do in a particular season that won’t work in another season. One thing sort of has to build on the last.

That isn’t living in the present in the 1960’s mindset. But living in harmony with the seasons “has a good beat and it’s fun to dance to!” That’s what they used to say on the dance shows when a new hot record came out. But living with the seasons has a good beat and it is fun to dance to!

But hark, I haven’t said a thing about fear. I didn’t even notice I was so caught up in our conversation. I guess we are successfully working on quelling fear right here right now in the present.

And that is really what I want to get at, to keep fear under control. Obviously it is here to stay but it needs a small place in our lives not the ogre that it can easily become.

today’s love, Felipé.

More, more and more on fear! I had a conversation last evening with Janet from LA. We get together once a week for energy work. We were talking about fear and she said something important to our conversation. She said that when you start to fear get into the present. And I have have been thinking about that. Most fear is about the future, in some way a loss of the future or loss of some aspect of life in the future. Not much of fear is actually us confronting a saber toothed tiger, that would be legitimate fear.

But most of our fear is based on loss of something in our future. And that’s what Cancer largely does. That diagnosis robs us of our future days, days that be made all these plans for. Good plans, solid plans, healthy plans, they disappear. But if we get out of the future and switch to the present that doesn’t seem to matter, right?

Maybe we are too attached to our plans. Maybe we more or less live there most of the time. That seems OK til Cancer or some other man eating critter knocks. Then it is a different story.
Then we lose that capacity to plan. Maybe that is the big fear to not be able to plan.

Anyway, celebrating small victories of our day to day life seems a way to live without major plans. Planning for today and maybe tomorrow seems like enough to me lately. It seems sufficient somehow. And maybe other days will appear. Maybe life becomes way less stressful and more days appear because things are easier. All of a sudden you have a week and then maybe a month and look it’s time for another Veranda.

Fear and combating it seems big items to me. And I am starting to realize that our own personal success affects our neighbor. And his or her success affects us. As we make progress against fear we all tend to profit. We change the environment.

Environmental loves, Felipé.

You know when your local TV has Shark Week and they play everything that they can dig up to convince you never to go in salt water again, it’s like that. So I thought we should have Fear Week. I could blame this on Ronaldo’s post on Friday. Or I could blame it on what I usually wind up talking about during my film QandA’s. Or maybe I blame it on Cancer introducing me to a whole new level of fear. (Note the capital C on cancer. Somewhere along the line I started doing that to give this disease the recognition that it deserves. It is a major player in our world.)

The good news is that I believe I can work on lessening the fear in my own life. I believe that you can do that too. I believe that some how doing this on an individual level influences the world around us. We have the privilege and the duty to work on this.

I have come to the conclusion that the phenomenon of Cancer is much more than the disease itself. It is wrapped in a whole world of fear which we collectively have placed there largely unknowingly. We have built that and therefore we can tear it down. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it!

Below is John O’s take on how we work together:

“The world is not decided by action alone. It is decided more by consciousness and spirit; they are the secret sources of all action and behavior. The spirit of a time is an incredibly subtle, yet hugely powerful force. And it is comprised of the mentality and spirit of all individuals together. Therefore, the way you look at things is not simply a private matter. Your outlook actually and concretely affects what goes on. When you give in to helplessness, you collude with despair and add to it. When you take back your power and choose to see the possibilities for healing and transformation, your creativity awakens and flows to become an active force of renewal and encouragement in the world. In this way, even in your own hidden life, you can become a powerful agent of transformation.”

JOHN O’DONOHUE

Excerpt from the books: Benedictus (Europe) /
To Bless the Space Between Us (US)
Ordering Info: https://johnodonohue.com/store

Co. Clare / Ireland – September 2019
Photo: © Ann Cahill

Remember no play can do fear week like we can!

new week loves, Felipé.

I don’t know what we did to deserve this one but it is grade A beautiful out right now. Looks like a terrific afternoon shaping up. I know we have some new walkers coming later. Outside tapas for sure.

Boy it just looks like a day to savor. Probably only a handful of these days left this season. Pretty soon it will be the storms of November and the holidays. But we have today!

Had a nice tailgate party today after Mass, cream cheese on toasted bagels and hot Monastery coffee. I think that is important to make ourselves available for our neighbors sometimes. I know that we are busy but we can’t be busy all the darn time.

OK, off I go, have to get my sunshine. Stop by later.

stop by later loves, Felipé.