Woah, the 25th of June? Where did this month go? Anyway, back from my visit to the Institute in the big city. I was so exhausted last evening I just collapsed after dinner. Some visits are more stressful than others. But I’m rested up now and ready to go at it again!

So, two things were pluses yesterday. One I am up to 170 pounds, up from 167 at my last visit. Ok, pour on the Klondike Bars! So, that is good as I was worried about this. I am trying to get to 180 again.

And the scan results are back with only the very slightest of growth. Hoorah! Another scan in the books, so happy. I was reading of a woman’s cancer story in my David Brooks’ book Second Mountain the other day. And she was comparing scan results to Olympic medals. The gold is for shrinkage and the silver is for stable. And she said that there was no bronze but I beg to differ. I have a pile of bronzes, years worth. Oh, I’ve gotten a few golds and silvers now and then but I am a definite bronze guy which is God’s way of keeping me on the edge of my seat with my mortality awareness high. So, there is Doctor Gold’s and my interpretation of the situation.

Walking in a few minutes. People coming today to walk and people coming to help weed the corn. I am one lucky guy.

one lucky guy’s love, Felipé.

Yes, now is a time for a deep breath, resetting the systems occasionally. Refresh the workings of body, mind and soul, who have been in the trenches too long now. Let them out for a time where they can air out.

I saw the word “whooshing” this AM on FaceBook. Events, ideas and bits of information are whooshing by leaving us in the dust. We don’t have enough time for it all. Sometimes a particular facet of the situation will resonate with us and we respond but the overall volume of it all is well, overwhelming really.

Keeping centered and grounded are important endeavors as we claw our way through this year. Maybe it is time to seek some help from those we respect to smooth the way. For one I need a session with Father Tom our Padre Tomas. I will email him today. I need to “walk” with him for a while.

We are capable of figuring things out, we just need to work on it together. We personally are carrying our own personal piece of the puzzle. It really doesn’t make a lot of sense on it’s own, it needs neighbors to fit in with.

Well, I am off to the Institute later this morning, have a 1:45 check in. I will get tested so I can continue on the next three weeks of my clinical trial. And also I will get the results of my scan from last week. So, I will let you know about that.

I was going to pull a few weeds before having to shower and gear up for the city so off I go.

wishing for carefree loves, Felipé.

It does happen to be gorgeous out right now. It is that time of year for this to be common if this year is like others. This is 2020 though. We are so used to walking that everyday really is a good day. Steve our CNWBC once gave me a quote out of Norway: “There is no bad weather only bad clothing.” Well OK.

I will be out there this afternoon at 1600 or 4 PM. Walked yesterday but not the whole way. I have been having trouble with my feet lately and need to get to the foot doc. But today they feel better. I have not been able to figure what causes them to flare up. But maybe I can get some help with that.

Also on my mind is that hardly anyone has been here since we opened May 5th. We are open with a couple of restrictions. One distancing is always maintained and for now tapas has been out. Once the weather gets more stable and predictable maybe we should up the tapas again so we can have them outside. I have had the thought that maybe visitors are only in it for the tapas but that can’t be true, can it?

OK, let’s set a date! JULY 5th WE WILL HAVE OUR FIRST TAPAS. How’s that? We will keep it minimal, distanced and safe. We can do this.

OK loves, Felipé.

I am very sure that I am going to arrive at heaven’s gates with dirt still under my fingernails. Sounds like a silly notion but I think it will be true and that I am getting more proud of it every day. Not to digress but I have thought in the past that I would get there with my elk jammies on but maybe both would be good.

The dirt in there these days is from weeding the corn crop. That is coming along and trying to get to that measure of knee high by the Fourth of July. That’s what a little less than two weeks away. I don’t know what that celebration will look like this year. Has their been any directive from the Gov?

So back to dirt. I had two local women walk with me yesterday and thinking about them has inspired this blog today. They are both heavily involved with growing projects and as a byproduct have probably their share of dirt under the nails. In the morning Catherine Johnson my Mass partner, author, serious gardener and on the board of Vashon Growers Association. And in the afternoon Michelle Crawford owner of Pacific Potager, selling a massive amount of vegetable and flower starts to our community, an essential business.

These two women influence me and my thinking. Dirt under the nails is not only a superficial thing but something that seeps in deeper and is more lasting. This is what I pick up as I walk the trail.

Blue skies love, Felipé.

Yea, that’s what I am talking about! Whomever thought of this concept, well done! Let the sun shine! Light that charcoal! Ice that beer! We know how to party don’t we!

A Sunday today, the first day of long awaited summer. This so needs to happen! I am grateful for this good news, it is an oasis in the late heavy dutiness. I just can’t take a constant diet of that.

Just a crazy after thought arrived via Face Book. Roni our friend that lives in Tulsa reported that there was a earthquake there after all the hoopla in town yesterday. It’s getting biblical out there people.

Well St. John Vianney Church opens today with an outdoor service. It is limited to 100 folks and it looks like the weather will cooperate. Catherine and I still aren’t ready to go back though. We are meeting here today, with our walking rosary routine. We are using the rosary guide put out by Magnificot (sp?). It has some great material that we read out loud along the way. It’s simple and inspirational.

So, here we are at least at Raven Ranch. Just trying to keep things even keeled and moving down the trail. I hope that your day goes well where you are and honor that Father of yours.

thanks for stopping by loves, Felipé.

Yea, trying to keep my thoughts in one bucket. What are you saying Felipé? I mean there are so many things calling for my attention today. Things seem up in the air, tentative. It is not helping that the plain old weather outside my window matches the sociological weather that we are all being buffeted by. It is very unstable, both weathers are. What the heck is next? It’s “unsettled” the weatherman used to say.

A sailor would say that you can’t change the wind but you can change your sails. With that thought it is time to “reef” or “shorten” the sails. This is a way of having less sail up, using less sail area. That is a way to slow down to something that is manageable. There are also ways to bring more stability to the boat. And ways to have more control and quicker response to changes.

And the preacher would say that we should read the story of Jesus calming the seas. There are some of the Apostles aboard who all are distraught as we are distraught. Sometimes we need to put our faith in the higher power.

I am currently praying for your country and our world. Praying for justice and peace for us. Could be have both please? I know that sounds like a tall order.

tall order loves, Felipé.

Found Poetry

When the sun perches low upon the western horizon and ignites radiant colors across the sky, poetry is found…

When a small, fragrant bud stands tall upon it’s stem and takes it’s first breath to open, poetry is found…

When an artist turns a blank canvas into a creative mosaic of light and shadow, reflecting the calming landscape before them, poetry is found…

Yet what about the poetry to be found in the mundane and routines of life?

And where is the poetry in the chaos and the pain?

The beauty and the poem of the present moment can be found though it may require a shift in perspective and a retraining of the eye to see what is right in front of us.

Even contained within the pages of a book a poem can be found. Though it can take some time to weed through the words and find the special message, a jewel of a poem, buried within the sentences.

Below is a poem that I discovered from a page in a book, which is pictured above This is actually an art form which is called Found Poetry:

How long we will go on
You must tell me
I can see
You are not yourself

Her advice is to sleep
For days and days
But when you awake
In blessed solitude
I would be in your arms
Nothing else will matter

I still do not know why
Regardless of the cost
Why
My head understands
Though my heart does not

But, but, but…
You have a different truth
Perhaps we can spend
Hours together
Rather than minutes

May you love
And understand this with majesty
And wild plans

While the external Camino’s of our lives continue to have limitations, if you wish to pursue a journey into the realm of Found Poetry more information can be found at this link.

Found Poetry Link

Rho Densmore Caminoheads SouthWest Bureau Chief

There is just a hint of clouds up there and they are coming out of the north which is a good sign. Fair weather for us here. Finishing up a little carpentry job today hopefully. And weeding the corn is also on the agenda. Loving it, finally some stable weather.

Have a scan tomorrow I found out. I thought that it was going to be next Wednesday but no. So, an extra trip to the city for this guy. But one thing nice is that my anxiety level is generally under control with these scans as the years go by. That’s good because I won’t hear the results till next Wednesday. That’s more than any normal person could stand.

Speaking of stuff like that, I saw the quote this morning on FaceBook about how telling your story could become someone’s survival guide someday. Doesn’t that ring a bell, seen that quote many times. Funny how that works. Our individual experiences have commonality. So, that is what I am doing here underneath all the fun and games, journaling along about a life with cancer.

Walking in a moment out in this glorious day! Come join me sometime.

fun and games loves, Felipé.

Yesterday We/I realized the we had to work on raising our spirits. Time in this pandemic moves slower than our most boring class in high school. We are mostly Jonah in the belly of the whale. There were three things that happened yesterday that brought welcome relief and healing to our household.

I had my weekly phone conversation with friend and author Dr Henriette Klauser who makes time fly. She used to be able to come over for walks and tapas before the pandemic. But the the closing of the West Seattle Bridge and the social distancing have made us further apart so we settle on the phone. It is always good to hash things out with her.

Then My Rebecca and I had a FaceTime with Rev Bonnie Barnard, speaker and author. It has been years since we have been with her, such a joy. Somehow things that are difficult seem to be put in perspective when she is around. She with Henriette have websites just use their names. And they need to meet each other so we got that proposed.

Then in the evening we had a couple of couples over for sitting around the campfire with physically distancing of course. Gosh, and we laughed and laughed. It seems so simple the joy of getting together. And now we all smell like smoke.

restorative loves, Felipé.

That seems like a good place to start. I have absolutely no idea where this is going today but sometimes just starting is half the fight. We all are here in the midst of the pandemic without a sign yet of this thing melting or changing. We see the need for a lot of work to be done in our civic and personal lives. That is the only thing that we are sure of.

We need to move forward at a measured pace to get things accomplished without undue harm to ourselves and our neighbors. Happenings seem charged to such an extent these days that we all need to take a collective deep breath. That is the best I can do, a collective deep breath.

OK, I have to go for now. The details are stacking up in my day. Tomorrow is another day. We can’t get it all done in one day.

Thanks for showing up loves, Felipé.