All posts by Phil Volker

With Mary Margaret And Kelly

Along the Way.
Along the Way.

We three amigos got together and did a little walk this morning. We three enjoyed a nice window of sunshine and calm winds. Yea, time to catch up and tell stories that we hadn’t heard before. Maybe making plans to get back to Spain.

MM told a great story about her and Anse in Roscevales which I have to repeat. It sounds like the kind of crackup that our giddy selves would appreciate. So, the two of them were in town and MM saw some saddles and said to Anse that a person could ride a horse on the Camino. And Anse came back with the thought “or a monkey”. MM is thinking what the heck. And then Anse says, “A donkey, a donkey!” A slight translation glitch.

We know how to have good cheap fun, don’t we? Matter of fact that might be what’s it’s all about in the end. A place, a task, time and good company and we will figure out the rest.

OK, off to chores. I have been wrestling with my tractor, trying to get it running for firewood splitting duty. But it should come to life today, hopefully, give enough tender loving care . Then this afternoon the film crew from Northwest Catholic Magazine is out here to photograph us pilgrims on Phil’s Camino. Then this evening is tapas and dinner here at the ranch for a big bunch of folks revolving around MM visit. All good, alperfect, you are in our thoughts, love, Felipe and company.

Mary Margaret Aboard!

Alperfect, yup, reunited. Kelly and I ran over to Seatac to pick her up and then back to the Island for tapas and dinner at Kel’s. Today she has Mass this morning at St. John Vianney’s and meeting with Sister Joyce. This afternoon my Rebecca’s taking her on a tour of the Island.

Hmm, my usually trusty iPad just ate the rest of the post that was a done and I was trying to add a pic. I am out of time so this will have to due sorry. But the theme of today was MM being here and enjoying our hospitality. And also saying to you to come also at some point. Open door loves, Felipe and Vashon Island.

Profile of the Northend of Vashon.
Profile of the Northend of Vashon.

Me, The Tapa Nazi?

From the ferry with Vashon Island in the distance on the left.
From the ferry with Vashon Island in the distance on the left.

Ha ha, pretty funny really. That’s what my Rebecca calls me when she has level two irritation. Level one is maybe, I’m guessing, is maybe just sort of irritation/amusement, sort of something I could get away with without a comment on her part. Anyway but yea, the Tapa Nazi.

Coming back from Spain and being the survivor of more tapa situations than I can remember. Maybe that is like what is said about “the sixties” here in the States. If you remember it you weren’t really there. No, I do remember most I think largely due to the Angels and Kelly and Rick’s massive supervision. But fond fond memories to have been socializing and being socialized by you my dear pilgrim buddies. I owe a lot to you.

But, what you see at that moment is only half of the story, right? What you don’t see at that late afternoon gathering is the long hours since way before light, the many miles, the sharp rocks, the slippery slopes, the quest for hydration and the pain. As you melt into your tapa chair you are hopefully remembering the great landscapes, the odd ruin, the beautiful little church with the smiling nun or the incredible Camino Conversation that you had with a fellow traveler that brought you an insight which is or will be very important to you after you have time to digest it properly. A extremely full day already and you have to make it through the fun part yet.

So tapa time is the time to start making sense of the day. Some of the folks now were with you earlier, some not, some you know and some are new to you. But you all have a story of how your day went. And it is important for everyone to get that in the mix. Your highs get awed over by the collective and your lows get analyzed, minimalized and worked on. And what about those awkward moments that you had like walking in on the Italian gal in the rest room or having someone step on your sandwich? How did we handle it and what did we learn. All in a day’s work for the circle of pilgrims at tapas.

And this is as vital as the other things that you have to get done in the evening there at the albergue. So here, me the Tapa Nazi has to bring this incredibly important ritual to the uninitiated. And I’ll have to admit that it hasn’t always been pretty but in the end after a few months of good, excellent and not so good the thing is in place. So,concidering all my hard work for something that is supposed to be not work (sitting, conversing, laughing, joking) I do except the nick name with a certain amount of pride. Just don’t put it on my tombstone, it would take to much to explain it and I’ll have better things to do by then.

It’s all happening, St James is Afoot, Love You Always, All Ways with All A’s, Felipe.

I Thought That I Would Write About Cancer

A church on a hill in Navarre.
A church on a hill in Navarre.

It’s my every other Tuesday and I’m at Swedish Hospital Cancer Institute again. It occurred to me recently that I don’t talk enough about my cancer. It is an important part of who I am these days and maybe today is the day to work on that since I am here at the epicenter.

But first my whole morning has been lovely. Like the weather is beautiful, the traffic was reasonable, I got all my errands done and things just generally ran smoothly like maybe this is my kind of day. Which is great really because I have been a little burned out by the hospital routine as of late and sort of forcing myself to smile about it. And today the universe is conspiring to treat me well even with my grumpy attitude, how nice.

This is delightful actually as I am in a good mood to tackle this hard topic. Well, let’s forge ahead then with such an auspicious beginning how can I go wrong? Cancer, yes.

Well, it’s not cancer in general but just my version, which I can talk about. I can talk about my experience mixing with other patients who have a variety of situations that I know little about medically. And really I know little about my cancer either. I mean by that that I could be way more studious and read up about studies and research. But I have a life to live and trust my doctors and nurses to cover my backside.

The basic idea, my modus operandi, is that I have to know that yes I do have cancer, yes, but at the same time with that in place, I can’t let cancer define me. I think that I have to accept it totally to be able to be free of it this way. It is a workable situation for me.

So, the cancer was the catalyst for ninety five percent of what is going on in my life now but remarkable it only takes up five percent of my consciousness. I have to say that another way. Cancer knocked me off my horse, so to speak, but I got right back on another, a superior one. Life goes on for me in a better way really.

How that happened and what that is is a long story that hopefully the documentary will get into. Maybe that will explain it to me too, haha. Well, I still haven’t talked about my cancer but I have talked about it as an instrument of change and the ultimate challenge is how to make that good change.

Change for the better loves, Felipe.

Extraordinarily Ordinary

An ordinary blue flower, name unknown.
An ordinary blue flower, name unknown.

Monday morning here which is looking pretty ordinary. Outside the kitchen window the climbing rose’s branches are all dripping from the last shower. Close to the ground fog is thick. But when I look up at a higher angle there is some blue sky in place of the usual ordinary winter overcast. Is that sunshine hitting the top of the fir trees? Maybe not so ordinary after all. Nice.

When Henry was here the other day he was telling me how extraordinarily ordinary I was and my scene was. It took it as a compliment. I could be ordinarily extraordinary just as easy. This all reflects our “walk and talk” conversation which was inspired by a quote in the kitchen from Albert Einstein, “There are only two ways to live your life: one is as though nothing is a miracle; the other is as though everything is a miracle.”

Is’t this one of the things that we learned as we walked through Spain’s ordinariness. You would look and see ordinary people, places and things all along. And then the next minute you were struck by the extraordinary beauty of it all. So, beautiful you didn’t know what to do with it, no existing categories. Overwhelmed with the ordinary extraordinary beauty, truth or holiness of things that you cried your eyes out.

Well, I just walked three laps around the backyard Camino, sort of an ordinary place. I filled three of the bird feeders along the way and then said the rosary for the last lap. Praying for my friend David who is having surgery today and for all the other stones on the pile. And the sun disappeared at some point just as mysteriously as it appeared earlier.

But that’s the way it is. As long as you know that the sun could come out we will be OK. It doesn’t even have to be out on us in this particular spot. It always helps to see a sunbreak in the clouds and the rays are pouring down on a hillside five miles from here. Yea, that’s good, it’s their turn and we may be next or maybe tomorrow.

But things are possible in our world is the important thing to remember even in the seemingly most ordinary of times. You could remind me and I could remind you. OK, off to my day. Reminding you loves, Felipe.

Footballed Out

Kelly keeping close supervision over Phil on the Camino.
Kelly keeping close supervision over Phil on the Camino.

Here I am after four games in one weekend. These are the end of the season playoff games. And, and The Seattle Seahawks are one of the four teams still standing, gang. Yea! And we are the best looking team of them all. Yea, take that a lot of ways. We’re just the best!

On the soup front the oxtail is down to the last bowl which we will fight over tomorrow. The split pea/ham hock creation is bubbling away on the gas stove getting ready to be the new soup of the week. I don’t know how something so simple can bring so much joy. It’s really quite amazing.

So, we will be finishing up the split pea soup next weekend while the Green Bay Packers come to our fair city to play the Seahawks to see who gets to go to the Super Bowl, the Big Kahuna of football games. So, who will come out on top the Green Peas or the Seattle Oxtails. Everything goes in the pot right? No holding back for the all out push for the Souper Bowl! All very critical this time of year when the temperatures are low, the tummies are hungry and the minds are weak. Ah, football season, where the veggies meat the road. I love it!

Well, so much for that. Time to move on. Slightly damaged love, Felipe.

Blogging Is Making Me More Healthy

A great Kelly pic that we have used before but too good to leave alone.
A great Kelly pic that we have used before but too good to leave alone.

Here it is, just in from my daughter, a report that says that writing helps people do better with there health problems. Well, I had better keep going with my effort then. Yup, blogging onward. That link is: http://mic.com/articles/98348/science-shows-writers-have-a-serious-advantage-over-the-rest-of-us.

And speaking of writing, we got back an email from Emily who has been going to school in France. I had written her to make sure that she was alright. So here are her words:

Hey! I actually just got back to Michigan a couple weeks ago, I had changed my flight to come home earlier for the holidays and I’m glad that I did. It’s very sad and scary what’s going on in Paris, but I feel that fortunately most people are in no real danger and that the news is making the city seem more unsafe than it actually is.

But anyway, happy holidays and I hope that you’re doing well also!!

Love, Emily

Well, I have to iron a shirt and find a tie and get over to a friend of mine’s memorial service. He was 93 when he passed in December. He was a Naval Officer, captain of a minesweeper that operated in the Pacific in World War II. I am supposed to be one of the speakers.

Yea, it’s all happening: healing, escape from danger, death and remembering, moving onward. More tomorrow, love, Felipe.

TGIF/Felipe#1

Yesterday we had a little additional celebration of my birthday and complete with cake by Riley.
Yesterday we had a little additional celebration of my birthday and complete with cake by Riley.

OK, so yea, I didn’t get anyone lined up to do the guest feature today. So, here I am with you. Could be worse, you could be in the turmoil in Paris. Wait, isn’t Emily there? Mary Margaret knows her geography, maybe she can help us out. We will have to contact Emily for her thoughts. A few weeks ago I was worried about Angela in Sydney and now this.

Really since Spain I have not paid much attention to the news the way I used to. Just haven’t given that level of reality so much importance. Not that I don’t think that current events aren’t important but only so important I guess. Find myself drifting toward the bigger picture mostly.

Have a great weekend and maybe check in with us at the blog here. Now that the holidays are winding down you will have more time. I will email Emily. Stay safe, love,

Henry

Along the Way.
Along the Way.

I know that I am late today. Too many things going on I guess. This morning I was over to Tacoma for a meeting of American Pilgrims. Always good to be around Camino people, Caminoheads.

But, yesterday Henry came out to see us, a Caminohead for sure. He is one of the sons of a minister that used to be out here on Vashon in the little community church that Rebecca and I attended. The dear man passed away from cancer four years ago. So, the whole family is dear to us.

Henry, two years after his father’s death decided to go and do the Camino Frances. This was 2013, in September/October. He did the complete walk and then on to the coast.

So, we had lunch out here at the ranch and walked on the trail here and gabbed about things Camino. What could be more fun. It would take a couple more posts to cover all the ground that our conversation covered in a few hours here. And you know stuff gets personal so quickly but I will mention a few things.

One, was Henry received a challenge from a fellow pilgrim to put the whole Camino into one word. Wow, there is a challenge. Henry chose the word “generous”. I like that a lot. What would your word be? I’ve got to think a while.

I was really impressed by Henry’s “the Camino will provide” attitude. Maybe it’s me but I am sort of fed up with people’s tendency to over plan. Maybe I have been hanging out with older folks who tend to be that way. Just refreshing to have someone who is not interested in over insulating himself from the experience. Yea.

Well, there is a parallel going on with the American Pilgrim’s meetings that I have been attending. Newcomers show up to get questions answered and learn. I was the same way I guess. But they generally have a whole set of questions that just sort of miss the whole point of the Camino. What I see are three categories of questions. One, since it is an athletic event what kind of gear do I need to perform well? Two, since it is away from cities how do I insulate myself from those realities? Three, since I can’t seem to exist without all my e-gadgemts, how can I get all this stuff to work over there?

There’s that and then there are the veterans at the meeting. They just seem to have a certain twinkle in their eye and a certain casualness and a certain confidence. They generally tell the newbies to relax and enjoy the ride. Love you as always, Felipe.

The Hundred Foot Journey

Sherif feeding us on the Camino.
Sherif feeding us on the Camino.

Rebecca treated me to a wonderful movie last evening with that title, “The Hundred Foot Journey”. It’s all about cooking, food, culture clashes, tradition/innovation and personal development. Lots of stuff going on and beautiful visuals too.

Then with my personal reading I finally got through with “For Whom The Bell Tolls” the classic by Hemingway. I had started reading it to put me in the mood to write about the Spanish Civil War back at the end of October. So, I finaally finished that up. Beautifully written book but hard to read. Hard to read about such a brutal period of Spanish history. Anyway, what I want to say is that I got started on “Eat This Book” by Eugene Peterson. Another eating thing. It was gifted to me by one of the guys in my men’s bible study group.

Eugene Peterson has published a translation of the bible, both Old and New Testaments. Called “The Message” it is a wonderful book to read as it is a paraphrase of the texts rather than a word for word translation. It strives to make the thoughts and ideas vital and available to us as twenty first century believers and not so concerned about the small stuff. It is the version of the bible that I use almost exclusively now.

So, back to his “Eat This Book” which is subtitled, “a conversation in the art of spiritual reading”. So, his “Way” is the attempt to discover the truths and internalize them, to eat them. Not just read, study, analyze but actually read to get them inside. And not that it is secret knowledge but rediscovering the personal side of it all, as we have a personal God, an available God, an eatable God even.

It’s just getting light outside. Henry is supposed to come today to walk and talk with me. He is in his twenties and did the Camino in the summer of ’13. His mother told me that it changed his life and I said to her that it changed mine too. It will be fun to catch up with him as we haven’t had time to do that. I will make lunch for him, speaking of eating.

Well, it looks like I have rambled sufficiently for one day. Time to get on to the next thing. Time to maybe wonder about our personal God. Time to “eat” stuff. Yup, love, Felipe.