Kathy from Dubuque just sent this in, sunrise on the Mississippi.
Have a walk at 0900 and will check out the corn progress. So exciting to start a new season. Need to find some time to finish the sunflower planting. There were a bunch of volunteer sunflowers that were coming up all over the cornfield so Ivette and I transplanted those to into a row but still have some seeds to plant. Sunflowers are so fun. Ivette was saying that in Italian they are known as flowers that turn with the sun. Yea, like that.
Still pretty much celebrating my good scan results. This gives me a good shot at three carefree months till the next one. That’s the name of the game right now, living from scan to scan and having fun betwixt and between. So, party on around here. We will, God willing, be eating super fresh corn on the cob and enjoying the crazy robust sunflower blooms when my next scan needs doing. Alperfect, right?
Today off working building a retaining wall for a little slope that is unruly. Rene, the Mexican gardener will help. Then am building a little wooden console that fits in a neighbors new car and that needs a fitting to see how close I came to a fit with my educated guess. That’s Thursday and then tomorrow will run into the hospital for an hour and then off to SeaTac airport to pick up Catalina coming in from California.
Oh, time to walk, have to go, later, love all the time, Felipe.
These beautiful poppies aways arrive in time for Memorial Day helping us to remember our war dead.
Hi. I’m at the hospital and just about done with my chemo treatment. Ivette, my old friend was here with me for most of the time and we gabbed about old times. Had the conference with my chemo doc about my scan results and things are still good! There was very very slight growth in my tumors so usual treatment will continue. Nice.
So, had tapas at two places this afternoon to celebrate. So, at this point would like to thank you all for thinking of me and praying for me. As you can see we are keeping one step ahead of things. Good deal all around.
I think that I am going to mail this one in as they say. Time to celebrate some more. you’re the best, love, Felipe.x
I gave my tumors a little pep talk this AM. I have a scan today at the Cancer Institute and I told them that they were going to be on camera and they need to look their best. We are working on things together these days, trying to work out solutions.
Will be packing up shortly for the drive in to Seattle. So just wanted to touch base with you before I have to set the iPad down. Hope everything is going well there.
Just heard through the grapevine that the Starbucks located by the Cancer Institute is merging with one further down the avenue. Hundreds of nurses and doctors got their caffeine from this little cafe, well they did until last Friday. Will this be some kind of glitch in my care? Always something.
OK, Monday morn. Where are we going to go today? Something that Annie said in the last post stuck me as something really significant. Looks like a good topic for today. Maybe grab another coffee.
I remember coming back from Spain and everyone and their brother wanting to know how it went. That ‘s great really. They were interested. What was frustrating for me and probably for you was most of those folks were interested in the twenty five word or less answer. Here I was, here we were, after having our minds completely blown having to put that experience into words much less twenty five or less. Not really possible without months of processing.
Yes, but now I could come up with maybe numerous short answers to that question. How about, “Yea, it is an international spiritual boot camp and I just got back from that and I feel totally beat up, best thing I ever did! OK, that’s twenty six words but it’s pretty good.
And maybe the question is hard to answer because of what Annie just brought up. Maybe the question is in the wrong tense. Instead of “How was your Camino?” or “How was Spain?” it should be “How is your Camino?” or maybe even “How is Spain?”. The point is that it is ongoing, like the saying, “When you got to Santiago your Camino actually begins.”
Oh look it’s 0908 and I am late for my walk. Later, love, Felipe.
( This our now regular piece that we call Movie Monday’s from Annie O’Neil, Phil’s Camino Producer / Director. She writes beautifully about our work that she feels so passionately about. This is the official Phil’s Camino News!)
hey there Caminoheads!
I did a pretty thorough update last week, so I will keep this short and sweet.
You can see the film at film festivals only right now, and for the month of June, our schedule looks like this:
June 2, 9:30 PM in Hermosa Beach as part of the South Bay Film and Music Festival.
June 4 2:15 PM & June 6 at 7:00 PM in San Francisco as part of SF DOCFest ***The man himself, Phil, will be in attendance, along with yours truly (Annie) as well as one of our Spiritual Advisors of Phil’s Camino, Fr. Tom Hall.
June 11, 11 AM and June 12, 3:30 PM as part of the deadCenter Film Festival in Oklahoma City, OK
June 23, 11:30 AM as par of the Nantucket Film Festival in Nantucket, MA
June 25 in Washington DC as part of the AFI Film Festival
There is one more, but I *still* cannot announce it yet. Stay tuned. It is in June.
I know that so many of you Caminoheads have already made generous donations to what I think of as the Phil’s Camino movement. I do believe this is a movement, Dear Ones. From the moment I heard about Phil and his backyard Camino I felt such a kinship: I was finishing my book that is all about making every day sacred, and everywhere you walk a part of your Camino. I had felt so strongly when I returned from my Camino that when folks would ask me ‘How was your Camino?’ that they were using the wrong tense: it wasn’t in the past! It was happening now! Right now, as we talked together! They were, in fact, part of my Camino! So for me, being able to tell Phil’s story in film, and share it with more and more people, is a huge honor, and is perhaps the best thing I have ever given to my fellow human beings.
I have heard wonderful comments from people after they watch Phil’s Camino. One woman in her 80’s said that maybe she could do a little more, and complain a little less. One woman has decided to dedicate her own walking of the Camino later this year to Phil. There is a jeweler who is donating a portion of his sales for May and June to Phil’s Camino. I could go on and on …
This film touches people’s hearts, and that is the height of filmmaking, don’t you think? If you would like to donate, you can do so at our Phil’s Camino website, www.philscamino.com Some folks make large donations, some folks make small donations, but it all helps us get this film out to more and more people. Thank you.
Lastly, I know that so many of you keep us in your prayers. Thank you. That is the only way that I can explain how this film even got made in the first place. I joke and say that St. James is one of our Executive Producers, but really that is only half a joke. I think that this film is something that powers greater than I wanted to get made. I am the humble servant here, and I try and just keep open to what I am called to do. Right now it is getting this film to festivals, then out to the world. I will offer you the same invitation Phil gave me when we met: Come walk with me.
Peace-
Annie
Annie O Neil
Producer/Director: Phil’s Camino www.philscamino.com
Co-producer and Pilgrim: Walking the Camino: Six Ways to Santiago www.caminodocumentary.org
Author: Everyday Camino with Annie www.everydaycaminowithannie.com
Some pilgrims call the town of Sahagun half way on the Camino. So we got there today at Phil’s Camino. We had a big bunch of folks here to walk today, seven beside Rebecca and myself.
So the trail is in great shape. All the flooding of winter is just a bad memory. Right now the grass under foot is a little long and will get your feet wet on the morning walks.
It’s late and haven’t done a post today. Way too much going on. But there is one thing that I have to tell you.
We’ve had a couple of private showings of Phil’s Camino. One was for a friend’s mediation group and the other My Rebecca’s book club. Nice groups and each big enough to max out our living room. They were both moved by what they say and one lady gave me this great quote. She said, “I’m altered.”
Yesterday I told My Rebecca that, “I was beyond mistakes”. I have been thinking about that since. What the heck did I mean by that? Was it just a casual remark or was it something substantial.
A friend just said that she was teetering on the verge of trying to do too much and making mistakes in the process. I know that feeling, that place. We all get there at times, juggling too many balls.
Then there is chemotherapy for me. Running gallons of “who knows what” through my brain can’t be all that good for my memory, organizational skills and etc. I have to interject that my beloved docs at the hospital know exactly what the “who knows what’s” are and are geniuses with my treatment. That I know and trust. It is I that am foggy on the topic. See, foggy is a good word for my seeing. I think that in some way it is a gift really. I give up the detail for the ability to see better the bigger picture. But, getting back to mistakes, now I am more apt to make mistakes in the details of things.
Yea, so? Well, there is age that means that more mistakes of a certain kind are going to happen. I am just not as sharp as in years past. Right, true, but what about this statement that “I was beyond mistakes.” I am seeing it as an attitude that yes, I make mistakes but so what? They are in the minor category in the big scheme of things. I don’t have the time or energy to dwell on them. I have to keep walking, metaphysically speaking, and guess what? Something is going to pop up soon to occupy me and I must get ready to do a good job with it.
So, I am looking on my own mistakes in a more loving manner. I am being more patient with myself. It won’t be the end of the world, this mistake, this glitch. I will survive my own glitches in the end. And I think this is spilling over to include everyone that I am coming in contact with. I am more patient with others. I will survive their glitches and they will survive mine. We will survive our glitches together and maybe learn to thrive in the end. Let’s work on that.
Our local newspaper the “Beachcomber” comes in to the ranch on Wednesday. This AM I opened our copy for a perusal of local happenings. The front page had two stories, one about the Japanese internment back in the 1940’s and a story about health care on the Island. There was plenty of other stuff in there, sports, article about gray whales, upcoming music. Eventually I got to the obits.
I read Terri’s obituary because I knew her. Our kid’s were on the same baseball teams and we had other connections, small island. She was a sweetheart, loved by all, mom, caterer, lunch lady, community volunteer. She succumbed to a “fast growing cancer”.e
Then I read Susan’s. She was our daughter’s Spanish teacher in high school. She had limited vision and had a guide dog named Sloan. I don’t think I ever met her although I am sure Rebecca had, being a substitute teacher, probably taught her class on occasion. Yea, so she succumbed to carcinoid cancer. I don’t know what that is exactly but a cancer.
Then Jack, don’t think I ever met him, worked in the hospitality business. He looked like a fun guy, “He threw a party!”. He was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2008 and died on May 8th this year.
That’s it: three obituaries, three neighbors, three cancers, three deaths. Seems pretty grim. We will mourn and go on, as always. That’s what we do. But at the same time cancer reinforces it’s hold on us, on our mind and spirit. A seeming juggernaut, incessantly coming at us, taking young and old.
I sit thinking about this and watching the clouds go by the window. Am I learning something from these clouds? They are broken letting the sun through occasionally. Is there room perhaps in all this cancer glum for something different, for some sunshine occasionally. I am thinking about “Cancer the Musical!”. Is there room for sunbreaks in our fear? Do we get to take a break? Can I make you smile in the midst of your “battle against cancer”. Would it be like a USO show with Bob Hope for the shell shocked troops, this musical?
Well, this is what I am up to this morning. We are walking in half an hour. I am putting the paper down. Love you, Felipe.x.
A visiting friend took this on the way home last night when he took the ferry. Thanks Bob.
We know by now the feeling that we are on the right track when things around us turn synchronistic. It ‘s the Camino feeling that we are in the groove with the flow of the universe, that everything is moving in the same direction and at the same speed and everything has a kinship. Things are all on the same page, including us. We know what that feels like, not that we are always there by any means but we know what that is.
So getting that far is significant. And it is not something that we can take credit for, like it is an accomplishment. Maybe we can take credit for being open, being outside ourselves, being willing to learn. But I’m just saying that it is something that we are gifted, more or less. We are sort of privileged to see.
So, I am identifying something else now that I would like to try and describe. It is to me a Camino/Cancer/Catholic happening. In my world it is showing up in all places, not often but I am just realizing that it is universal in my world. I first noticed it in the Camino area, then in the Catholic area and now yesterday in the Cancer area. It is something basic, something that operates below the point at where those things separate.
The basic concept as I see it is that I am this guy walking around in the mud who at some point starts doing something significant. What is the difference there? I always seem to start in the trenches but with enough time, effort and looking come across something that is significant but really just there for the finding. But somehow on my own I can’t put it in perspective. I need someone with a broader knowledge to tell me, hey, that thing that you just found, that’s something.
Maybe it is just how things work in the universe, hey? It has less to do with me and you and more to do with things as they are. We can’t take credit for that. We are just privileged to see it.
So, after I had gotten Phil’s Camino, the trail here on Vashon Island, up and running and I was walking “across Spain” and trying to have that experience who should show up but Annie O’Neil. And what does she say but “This really looks familiar.” “Aren’t I writing a book on this very thing?” And our ensuing conversation opens up to me that, yes this is something, something significant.
And Catalina Barush, the art historian, comes along and hears about how I am walking in the mud and trying to have an experience and says this is something that people have been doing for a long time. People build small replicas of situations or places to have the experience of the real time and place. In other words, you have something.
So those are two examples from the Camino sector. And sister Joyce my spiritual advisor will do this in the Catholic realm. I will come across some “muddy idea” and she will clarify it for me and say yes that is something. Somehow it is almost like I have to learn it the hard way. I have to find that nugget by panning for it.
And yesterday this same thing started happening with Dr Zucker, my psychologist. Well, maybe I was just starting to realize it and maybe it has been going on for a while. But some how my observations from the mud about Cancer were having a great conversation with his knowledge on the subject. In other words I was starting to find interesting things that seemed useful to him. Stuff that I was exploring on this topic stimulated our conversation, brought maybe new ways to look at the same stuff. I don’t know exactly what was going on but we were having a good time.
What I am trying to describe is perhaps synchronizity. Somehow all these examples are instances where we arrived at the same place at the same time but from different angles. And it seems exciting when that happens.
Thanks for bearing with me on this. Long and involved but perhaps important. As always, love, Felipe.x.
