Annie’s Blog post from Saturday has been on my mind quite a bit this week and judging from all of the comments, it appears it resonated with many of you too. For me she provided some context for a painful time I am going through right now. In early May my Auntie Char, the name I have called her my entire life, suffered a stroke. She is now 88 and also suffered a stroke about 10 years ago. We always knew another one could happen, but I was not prepared for when it happened or how it affected her as her first stroke was relatively mild. Thankfully, her current stroke didn’t really affect her physically, but it did affect her cognitively. Memory recall with names or people and places along with the inability to grasp certain concepts make it challenging for me to help her understand the sudden changes in her life and how the stroke has affected her. I share this because the conversation that Phil and Annie had and Annie shared here has helped me to take the next step in accepting this phase of my aunt’s life. Her life has reached a point like the older wooden fence, worn out, yet mended at least once and repaired many times. As Annie wrote, “There is an acceptance that time is marching on, that forces greater than ourselves are at work, and that we are merely doing our best even though we know that the sun and wind and weather – Mother Nature herself – will have the final word.” Mother nature and time have spoken, and I can continue to rail against it, or I can take the first few steps towards acceptance. 

Annie also spoke of “finding the beauty” and this also reminds me of my Auntie Char. As an artist, her entire life she not only looked for beauty, but she also found ways to add beauty into the lives of others. It could be as simple and bringing in a dried autumn leaf bursting with reds, oranges and yellows, or as complex as watercolor painting capturing the vast landscapes in the rolling green hills of Umbria, Italy, where she taught art for many years. 

When I returned from the Veranda at Raven Ranch back in August of 2018 it was then that I shared with her the short version of Phil’s Camino. She was not only inspired by Phil’s story and the journey he has been on, but she took this inspiration and created the picture above. In her piece she also wanted to include Sture, Phil’s dog, because in her mind he was still walking with Phil in spirit. Auntie Char not only found the beauty in Phil’s Camino, but she was also able to create something beautiful from her inspiration and share it with the rest of us.

Sadly, Mother Nature and time have also affected my aunt’s eyes and she now suffers from Macular Degeneration. Her sight is almost completely gone in her right eye and is fading fast in her left. I also struggle with this because it seems like a cruel twist of fate that as an artist she is losing one of her main ways of expression, her coping mechanism, and how she personally contributes joy and beauty into the world around her.

But now I find myself thinking about the weathered and worn fence. I realize that this may be the latest gusty wind or pounding hailstorm pressing up against my aunt and altering her life once again.  If I can learn to see the beauty in the worn and weathered fence, perhaps I can learn to see the beauty in this current phase of my Auntie Char’s life. Perhaps I can learn to cherish it as much as the wild adventures we shared climbing the ancient, cobblestone streets of Assisi, Italy or the many times we sat together on my patio in Ramona and quietly watched the setting sun as it sunk below the far off horizon.  

Worn Fences and Sunset loves,

Rho Densmore 

SWCBC