Conversations that need to happen

The Camino is a conversation-igniter. We had conversations with other pilgrims, with the hospitaleros, with the owners of the shops, with the farmers, and certainly with ourselves and our own story. Phil (and Felipe) in Caminoheads keep us in our toes to do the same. And Wednesday’s post “Stay Productive My Friends” challenged me, once more to have a conversation with myself, and hopefully with you all, like in the Camino. Is it true that the only option we have when life gets hard is to stop living?…

It is easy to think we don´t need to reinvent the wheel once more, that we don’t need to find a “work around”, why would we? “Stop walking if you have blisters”, that is what we have to do, that is what others always did…Why should we do something different?

Like “people with cancer die”… but then we have Phil WITH cancer FULLY LIVING. I thought how this conversation we are having here challenges me… and challenges this concept that “this is how things are”.

The truth is that the obvious is not so obvious, and what has been in front of us or has been part or became a part of our “always”, or of our “new” identity, often is seen as just a birth mark that cannot be changed, something that has nothing to provide other than what already did, even it is a horrendous present, and hence we will walk with it until the last breath, un-questioned.

Some time ago I listened to David Whyte (English Poet) explaining his poem “Working Together”. He wrote that poem per the request of the Boeing Company to celebrate the anniversary of one of the planes. And he came up with the idea that we can fly in planes because what existed since always: air and shapes, were seen with new eyes, were questioned, and engaged in a conversation that had never happened before, despite they had been there since “always”.

Like the rounded shape and the plain ground.
Or the stone and the friction.
And life and its challenges.

And Phil’s post set me off to think in this idea of David Whyte: which are the parts of me that need to talk to each other? Which are the conversations that are yet to happen? What will I see if I let the familiarity go, the concept that “this is what has always happened when…” ?

Working Together

We shape our self
to fit this world

and by the world
are shaped again.

The visible
and the invisible

working together
in common cause,

to produce
the miraculous.

I am thinking of the way
the intangible air

passed at speed
round a shaped wing

easily
holds our weight.

So may we, in this life
trust

to those elements
we have yet to see

or imagine,
and look for the true

shape of our own self,
by forming it well

to the great
intangibles about us.

Conversational Loves,
Cris

Henriette said some of my blog post titles were confusing so I thought that I would throw that in to make matters worse. She was here on Tuesday for a couple hour chat and the usual walk and tapas. She has this book going about Cancer and the Camino and I am going to be part of that. Pretty exciting it is.

We had a most valuable session this time I thought. In the process of answering questions and unpacking ideas a certain clarity arrives. Certain aspects of my journey are starting to come into better focus. Some things that seem haphazard now seem parts of a plan or at least a trajectory.

I thank Henriette for attempting to unravel the finer points of my “battle” against cancer. This so reminds me of Catalina, Kate Barush, our star art historian that puts my journey in the bigger artistic context. They both look and see things that I don’t see because of their training and experience. It brings clarity to me and that helps me to operate at ever higher levels.

So thank you to both of you my intrepid investigators. As we continue we add to the increasing body of knowledge about living life and more specifically living life with Cancer. Everyday we are putting a finer point on our pencil and finding out new things and passing them on. It is interesting and rewarding to be a part of that.

absolutely positive loves as always, once more, Felipé.

this is worth a week on the Camino

Every once in a while there is a rent in the veil of reality and it stops you in your tracks. You didn’t plan on it but it was waiting a long time for you. You didn’t believe it at first but it wormed it’s way into you. And part of you still doesn’t believe it because it was too different or too good to be true.

Just chuckles in general this morning. So, the situation is that we ran away with the Camino like kids of old ran away with the circus. And it’s not Kansas anymore for us. We live in a slightly different place than we used to. And most of the time we can’t exactly put our finger on it, the change, but it lingers and we savor it’s particular flavor.

These young singers have rent this veil for me. They are precious aren’t? Their energy is contagious. It sends me to this Camino place just like that. That’s what is going on here for me.

this is worth a week on the Camino

Off to Wednesday loves, Felipé.

Oh, I feel so much better today. Off to the shop to make doors for some cabinets I built earlier. I’ll make a fire in the wood stove there and be all cozy for that.

But we have an hour til then, time to blog. It was fun on the comments yesterday with the sayings our Mom’s used when we were kids. How about this one from Jessika, “Oo La La Sweet Mama. Sixteen kids and no Papa.” Long one, verging on poetry there.

My folks loved to play cards, 500 rummy, with other couples and then later when they ran out of those with each other. My Mother had a whole vocabulary that she saved for that. Most were whole words and phrases but some squeaks and sighs that meant certain things. Maybe it was all code to pass things on to her partner. When her hand was all small cards that was, “nits and lice”. Nits are the even tinier eggs of the tiny lice.

My Dad had sayings that we’re mostly of the Ben Franklin sort. But he had one that took me years to unravel. It pointed out the poverty and the hardship that he had faced in his life. And it pointed out my wealth as I was separated from that. When someone was debating over a decision he would say that “you don’t have a problem, you have a choice.” In other words to really have a problem you would be in some dead end where there are no choices. So having any sort of choice is a joy, cherish it.

That really points to how rich I am/we are generally. Here it is the land of too many choices really. It tends to be exhausting and confusing and sometimes in the end leads to it’s own sort of poverty.

Well, thanks for being here with us. Walk this afternoon and tapas party. I will have to take a moderate course through the festivities.

choices loves, Felipé.

I am having a hard time getting going today and that reminds me of one of my Mother’s favorite sayings. People that were moving too slow for her were “slower than molasses”. Yea, OK, I get to have a molasses day once in a while.

Maybe I partied a little too hardy yesterday afternoon at tapas. One of my nurses come out with her husband and a friend. And Janie one of our regular walkers was here too. Sounds all very innocent but apparently it got a little out of control.

One of my Mom’s other favorites that I hope doesn’t need too much explanation was when someone “doesn’t know sh_t from Shinola” or one doesn’t know manure from shoe polish. I think we are on the OK side of that one anyway.

OK, have to go and try and get a few things done.

Monday loves, Felipé.

We have all the signs of winter coming on but the trail is dry and colorful still. No mud or standing water around yet.

Monday 0900-1000
Tuesday 1530-1630 (tapas after)
Thursday 0900-1000
Sunday 1530-1630 (tapas after)

Felipé.

I was here minutes ago wondering what to blog on today when Annie called from the theater on Santa Monica Blvd where Phil’s Camino – So Far So Good is playing. I think that it is a two day run there. She was telling me who had come and what was said.

She said that she got choked up at the point where I get to go to Spain when the audience started to clap. Haha. Yup, that’s good.

We just showed the original short version a couple of days ago for My Rebecca’s cousin who had seen the long version in Indianapolis last year. It’s all good even though Rebecca and I have seen it a million times now.

And Annie asked if there was anything that I wanted to say to the audience that she could pass on. I had to think a minute but what has mostly been on my mind lately is that we are busy fighting fear for you and for me. That is what’s up. We are trying to push it back so we have room to operate. That’s it in a nutshell.

nutshell loves, Felipé.

Could that just be enough please. No parades or hooplas necessary, just ordinary time, thank you. The power is on, always a semi miracle or at least mentionable in November. The wood stove is cranking out btu’s. Kind of hungry for lunch is my only need.

Back from my Bible Guys and had a good meeting. We have a guest who is giving us a three week class about the Arc of the Covenant. Personally I am trying hard to keep up with it. My knowledge and understanding of things Old Testament is shaky at best. But these are the roots of our Christian faith and worthy of study. Just that I have a long way to go, need the “for dummies” book. There is an idea worth checking out.

So now I have to think about my afternoon at the ranch. Mostly lately it is about raking leaves and getting them corralled and moved. This is a major November project but the end is in sight as our trees are just about bare.

We have some company for a few days, one of My Rebecca’s cousins is here from the other Washington. So that’s been fun.
Unusual to have guests this late in the season but she is a hardy soul.

That was fun yesterday, the post of William’s Camino. Amazing the he did it silently. I never thought about that before. Is there some historic precedent for that? William help us out here.

OK. off I go. Help us out loves, Felipé.

For this blog I would like to share with you a little of my own Pilgrimage experience.

April 12th 2012 was day one of el camino.

The reflections afforded to he who walks without talking are life changing.

When I tied up my boots each morning I also tied my lips. Despite my
silence, I met people from all over the world. And the local folks I met
were kind, loving, generous. No common language spoken. Our communication
was done with eye to eye and heart to heart connection.

The elevation at the beginning was 200M/660Ft above sea level.

The sun shone as we climbed upwards on the way over the Pyrenees.By taking
the high pass one reaches the second highest point,1400M/4592Ft, of the whole Camino
Frances.

As mountain weather does, it changed quickly from sun to a heavy
mist and rain. We took refuge in a nearby hostel.

A fellow pilgrim informed
me that four other pilgrims, two Irish/two Italian, had called him to say they were in danger higher up in the pass in a blinding snow storm. They were lost, cold and very wet.The Spanish authorities were informed, but as time was of the essence, I headed out in an unsuccessful attempt to find them. We had also contacted a local driver who was familiar with the area. He was able to drive along the small road that led over the pass.Luckily he found the missing Pilgrims and brought them back to the hostel.

Two of the four were within hours of dying of hypothermia. They were ill prepared for mountain weather.As this hostel had no heating, we arranged for then to be taken to a village with warmer accommodation.

That evening we enjoyed a wonderful Peregrino supper.

Day two started in the rain which soon turned to snow. Could only see a few
yards in front. When I left Calgary for this pilgrimage I didn’t expect a
winter wonderland. Each tree branch was covered in white and flowers poked
their heads through the white blanket.

Passed roaming wild horses. A cattle
guard indicated the border. Now in Spain. Downhill to a Monastery, our next
resting spot.

This Pilgrimage was clearly a very personal journey.

No two people will see it the same way.

It was like living life from birth to death and everything in between AND
beyond. I have not, as yet, found the words to describe the beyond portion of this journey.

It was kind / it was cruel. happy / hell. pleasure / pain.

All weather. rain–hail–snow–wind–sun.

All terrain– mountain–valley–flat–hilly–muddy–fields–rough
paths–smooth paths— village–town–farmland–vineyards.

Upon reaching the Cathedral in Santiago I was met by a very excited pilgrim
whom I had met earlier on the path.

“We are planning a party,I’ve bought a cake and we will gather to
celebrate—-. Immediately I felt overwhelmed with all the noise and the
people and the city. That’s when I realized the profound effect my silent
pilgrimage had on me.I returned straight away to the pilgrim office where I
had picked up my Compostela. Here the official gave instructions on how to
leave town and continue on my silent way 87 km to Finisterre on the far
west coast of Spain.

I then continued my journey on foot arriving in Muxia.

Like the rest of my Camino this final part brought within it some incredible experiences that I will never forget.

BUEN CAMINO.

This is the second book by this author that I have read and I am hungry for more. My Austin, Texas buddy Dave gave them both to me and OK Dave you have me hooked. John Graves is the author and he may not be well known outside of Texas so you may never have heard of him.

And I suppose being a local phenomenon the author’s writing may be local and it is in that it is centered there. This one is about the Brazos River in north central Texas. But somehow his writing transcends also. He says look, look at the history here in this particular place and you the reader are curious and also spurred (good one) to think about the history where you are standing.

His canoe trip is three weeks long in the 1950’s and through an area of the river that is slated to be damned so he is saying goodbye for himself and for all of us really. But it is not an angry book but one that sees the peace in it all and that has a place for all the brutal details. I think that is what I like about it best.

His other book Hard Scrabble that I have reviewed in the past was about Texas also but had a different twist. It chronicles his later life with a tired piece of land that he had purchased and his attempt to heal it. The story is akin to Aldo Leopold’s Sand County Almanac that you may have read or heard about.

So thank you Dave for enriching my life with these books and thoughts. Raven Ranch will be a better place for that. Seeing ourselves and our efforts in the context of history is a healthy thing.

enriching loves, Felipé.