I lifted this book from the Treatment Center waiting room. Well, I did tell the receptionist on duty that I was going to bring it back in two weeks. Somehow I had missed seeing it before, hmmm, been in and out of that room for four years. Anyway, it was speaking to me and jumped into my hand.
It is entitled “Lilly Oncology On Canvas”, subtitled “Expressions of a Cancer Journey”. It is a selection of art works from a competition held in 2008. All the work was done by patients, nurses or caregivers. Next to each work are some words of explanation. I am weeping reading these things so I know that I am on the right track here.
Well, that last paragraph is the short story of these artists. I’m promoting the whole lot to Cancer Commandos immediately. They are so far beyond patients and campers it’s ridiculous. I can feel them using their precious energy trying to express these pivotal moments in their lives to us. These aren’t pretty little landscapes or portraits done for normal reasons. These are way beyond normal in my book and maybe that isn’t easily appreciated by the uninitiated but I guess that I am here to tell you.
I weep on. The cover has a portrait done in a very painterly fashion where the artist employed a palette knife instead of the finer brush to achieve this rugged look. It has a sort of positive feminine “Mount Rushmore” quality. Yea, nice but that’s not the whole story. Inside the book on page 65 is the whole painting with the whole story. It shows not only the face but the upper body of a rugged Commando naked and appearing with one breast. Oh man!
Yea, the book is full of stuff like that although that painting was the overall winner in the completion. Powerful stuff when you factor in all the upheaval, pain, unknowing, fear, sacrifice and loss that each and every one of those works represented. How many Van Gogh ears is that? The paintings or photographs are just final products built on mountians of other stuff.
OK, very moving, right? But have to regroup and get on with my morning life. But that is the way it is with this cancer stuff. It is terribly sort of foreign and demanding but life goes on around it. A Commando has to keep one eye on it and one eye on life and look for opportunity to “paint a meaningful painting”. Thanks Commando Artists.
That’s today, love you, miss you, Felipe.
Today in Richard Rohr’s blog he wrote: “We bear the mystery of God.” It seems to me that no one knows this more poignantly and more painfully than cancer commandos everywhere. I guess like all burdens our measure as human beings is how we carry them. You are carrying yours so steadily without complaint, you are a teacher to me in that way, a hero really. God’s Blessings be upon you and continue to give you grace.
Catherine ~ something is coming up for me from what you are saying. It maybe be a stupid little detail but there may be something to it. This has to do with saying the rosary. I pray it mostly as I walk the backyard Camino when no one shows up to walk with me. And as I go I have to remember all the parts to the story of Jesus’s life. And there are two parts that stick out for me. One that I have the most trouble remembering which is the transfiguration. And one that I never forget and that is the carrying of the cross. It seems that years of me carrying wood as a carpenter makes that something that I can relate to on a very basic level. And maybe I have almost no ability to relate to glowing heavenly beings. I’ve often wondered about this.
Well just a little story on my part and almost nothing to do with what you are talking about. But that is the best I can do at this hour. Maybe when you are over for a walk we can continue this discussion. Love you, Felipe.
Ahh, thank you Felipe for sharing from a place of great tenderness. It is a privilege to be a small figure in the ground of your journey. The fields we walk through the seasons with small, sweet conversations are a beautiful palette. As is your heart. Thank you. May we be keepers at the gate. Always, your pal, dana
Dana ~ I like the way you said,”your pal”. Yea that book had a big effect on me. It is powerful art. Walking with you soon. Felipe.