Hi you guys.  I’m a little under the weather but I am attempting to rally.  My new chemo drugs and the ensuing new side effects are keeping me busy in new ways.  Wouldn’t want to get bored with the same old thing now would we?

Then last night I watched Molokai, the story of Father Damien and the lepers in Hawaii.  Now that was heavy duty there, not like my little complaints.  Anyway would love to talk about that maybe tomorrow or soon.  But Maureen from California sent a good story in that I will give to you now:

Good morning Phil!

I have loved following your blog. I consider myself a Caminohead, though I have never walked in Spain. To me, the Camino is the spiritual inner journey of walking through this life as a “pilgrim among pilgrims.” We are all trying to find “our way” back home… it is a faith walk of trust, surrender and community.

I wrote to you way back in October about my friend Betsy that was walking in Spain at the time. She had lost her son Jack in October 2016, and was walking by herself, spreading his ashes along “The Way” She actually completed her walk and arrived in Santiago on the one-year anniversary of Jack’s passing.

Betsy talked about that markers along “the way”… the yellow arrows and the shells that guide the walkers to keep on the trail. One day, she noticed that she had not see a marker for quite a while, and had to re-trace her steps to where she had last seen the sign. This can be costly when you are keeping a pace of 13 miles (or so) a day. As she was walking back, she met a young man from Australia.

While they walked together, she told him that she thought she was off track, and was looking for the markers to guide her back. He then showed her that there was a Camino App that could be downloaded to her smartphone. He helped her set that up, and she found that it GPS’ed her location, so that she could never get lost again! When she thanked him and asked his name, he replied “My name is Jack, just like your son.!” She was amazed! Her story gave me goosebumps once again.

We talked about that experience and how there are no coincidences in life!
She feels strongly that Jack from Australia was a Guardian angel along her way! She also talked about having to re-charge her smartphone each day to stay connected to the source.

Kind of like we have to stay connected to “our source” (God) each day to keep our batteries charged and stay on course!

Maureen

Yes, a great story.  I think that we all have our own version of that story.  Not to diminish it but to say that yes things like that happened.  We can relate to it for sure!

What I think about now when I hear stories of being lost on the Camino is that I don’t know if that is possible.  Because a lost person will have an experience there that they won’t have otherwise as Betsy did.   I guess it depends on your definition of lost.  Does that make sense though?  The whole trip is about experience so “being lost” is part of that experience.  Maybe if you think about being one of the old time walkers whose only guide was following the setting sun they were maybe always lost or maybe never lost.  Just a Felipe thought.

Lost love, Felipe.

Hi.  I sparked  a lot of comments over the last few days and Cris from Buenos Aires came in with a doozy that I have reprinted here below.  But I have wanted to add to it.  Thanks for coming.

Yes, of course, beauty there was a key element in the chemistry of the Camino.  And there wasn’t just some but a lot!   I remember being over loaded with beauty.  Too much!  So much beauty that I didn’t know where to put it all.  Yes, thank you for the reminder.

Hola Felipe,

I think yesterday all of us were inspired, and inspired by your post too. Today’s post is another one… today’s one can open a large discussion… The vision of God is as wide as the vision of the Camino… isn’t it? Each of us has our own. The Camino, funny enough, helped to find mine: for me, the Camino was Beauty.
And then, in John O’Donohue’s words, I found: “God is Beauty”. And then, listening to a recorded radio show, when he was asked what was Beauty, he said “Beauty is the presence in which we become more alive”.

One year after arriving to Santiago (and before having read that book of John O’Donohue), I wrote:
“One year ago I arrived to Santiago de Compostela, after walking without interruption for 34 days. I can summarize the experience with one word: “Beauty”.
I learned about the beauty in the world, the beauty in the people, the beauty in the souls, the beauty in the hearts when they open or when they are closed, the beauty in the art of listening and speaking and being listened, the beauty of friendship, the beauty in sharing, the beauty of what is painful and poigneant and yet beautiful because it is what gathered many of us, the beauty of love, the beauty of being all human beings in this planet: ones receiving, others giving, ones looking for shelter, others waiting for us. Certainly one of the most humbling experiences of my life.”

The Jesuits (and Pope Francis!!!) philosophy is “finding God in all things”.

Effortlessly then, all three Words (with capital W -Beauty, Camino, God-) are connected.

BCG hugs,
Cris

Oh, I have to walk in a minute.  Be back!  OK, back and dried out.  Catherine y Dana came and we walked in the downpour.  It was fun in a Camino kind of way.  We always seem to have a good time no matter.

Back to  the blog.  I remember spending a lot of time on this in my writing back when I just got back from Spain.  Someone sometime came up with the notion that God has three main attributes: beauty, truth and goodness.  And each is a pathway and you can get closer to God by following one.  Personally with my sensibilities the beauty path seems the easiest and sometimes it seems sort of unfair that it is so easy.  That is my own take and perhaps others find goodness or searching for the truth to be easier.

Well, we are not going to figure it out all in one day.  Hehe, think that was a joke.  Best to you, love, Felipe.

Curious that I didn’t mention God in my post yesterday, maybe the most important component.  What do you make of that?  Maybe a silent partner?  Maybe someone so pervasive, underlying and obvious that it goes without saying.  Perhaps.

I guess my very personal view of the Camino as I saw it in August of the year, the busiest month, was a social one.  I wasn’t  a solitary monk walking alone to gain some new personal level in my relationship with God.  I think for me all that came came through people, those that I started with and those that we met along the way.  It was sort of finding the love of God through finding love for your fellow man.  Does that make sense?

That seems like a very reasonable sort of mechanism.   That seems to be what was working for me.  We all have our own Camino, as they say, so maybe it is only one personal take on the situation.

But my relationship with God did change and become more profound. It became simpler, more intimate, more internalized.  That was happening while walking and afterward, an evolution.  One of the things that influenced me the most that I can point to was a notion in the Pilgrim’s Beatitudes which was written , “the silence of prayer”.   I changed from giving wordy prayers that attempted to conjure up God or invite Him in from afar to almost wordless prayers that speak to intimacy.  So, yes God is there, always was, always will be.

And thank you for all the comments on the post yesterday.  Maybe that is the most that I have gotten on a single day.  I’m glad you are all awake out there.  Thanks for coming, love, Felipe.

So great when new folks show up at the blog.  Kathleen came in with the latest showings of Phil’s Camino down in Chico, California.  Thank you Kathleen, we welcome you.

Maybe it is time again to explain the basics of the Caminoheads blog for our newcomers.  Every once in a while I feel the need to do this.  We, the Caminoheads, are  dedicated to living the principles that we learned on the Camino, the “Way”.  This means taking care of ourselves but it also means taking care of each other.  I like to use the word buoy for that.  We are here to buoy each other up.

This all springs from the notion, “When you get to Santiago your Camino begins.”  I have spent time with this, sat with it, puzzled over it.  My conclusion is that our time spent in Spain on the trail was participation in a training program.  We were having such a good time that we didn’t maybe realize that.  But as we floated across Spain on good vibes and sweat we were learning the way to be.

So when we get to the end of the trail, the trail suddenly begins?  Or  when we have done the work, there is more work?  Or just when we can’t take another step there is another journey?  Well, apparently so.  For my only conclusion to this is that we are supposed to go back to where we came from and find a way to live that life that we have practiced, as best we can.

So, here we are Kathleen, this is our noble cause.  We are here, in our  small place on the planet “still walking”.  Still ministering to ourselves and those around us, just like we learned.  It’s no different really.  And hopefully our get together here, our blog, helps this happen.  Welcome.

Let’s review our love, Felipe.

We are having a streak of rainy weather here.  And that brings balmy temps as compared with other places in the States recently.  We are having high 40’s daytime and low 40’s at night.  I hate to even say that when I see the pix of the freeze on the east coast, feel guilty that we are having it so easy.

The walking is a little soggy though and companions are few and far between.  Standing water is starting to collect in spots and the creek is running.  Some trees have gone over giving the trail through the woods more of a random look.  The cover crop on the corn field is giving it a greener look as it slowly pushes skyward.  The birds and the squirrels are busy harvesting sunflower seeds from the feeders.

So it is all different from the warm glory of summertime.  Now it takes a little prep and care to be comfortable on the trail.  But the rain always seems less of a problem when you are actually out in it as opposed to looking at it through the window.  Once you are out there you get into the swing of it and it’s fine.

I have been renewing my conversation with Saint James and perhaps that is what this time of year is good for.  Time to review, as Kelly would say, the things that are important.  Time to check out priorities and keep them straight.  Time to organize, to build strength.  Saint James guide me.

The best to you there, love, Felipe.

Back from early Mass and camped out on the couch.  Father had a homily about how we as Christians being the light of the world and our job was to encourage and inspire.  Woa, that’s right!  This is Caminoheads blog, home all that good stuff, right?  I’m not saying that we are always great at it but we are always striving.

Yes, let’s pat ourselves on the back here a little at this point.  We have been working hard for a long time now and I would like to just say how happy I am with this whole situation.  It’s all warm and fuzzy from where I am sitting.  Thank you so much for being a part.  We all couldn’t do it without you.

Here it is the first week of the grand new year.  We are we are moving forward.  Let me consult with our friend and mentor St. James as to our best route.  I have to admit that I haven’t checked in with him yet with all the commotion of New Year.  My bad, as they say.

I am going to leave you with that and my promise to ask St. James for help and guidance.  Love you today and tomorrow and the next day, Felipe.

Back at the ranch after a morning with my Bible Guys.  Feeling a little ragged but this is my bad weekend.  Guess I’ll just have to watch football.  Catherine calls this my Pyrenees weekend, in other words my hard weekend.  My body is fighting through this lastest batch of chemicals, looking for some blue sky ahead.

But right now My Rebecca is making bean soup with a ham hock, it smells so good.  I am so thankful that I have a good appetite.  Just a simple joy to keep strong and enjoy flavor.

A few days ago I brought up the topic of how to keep Caminoheads blog going into the future.  How to have it be exciting and vital and doing its job of buoying us up.  Yea, sounds good to me.  Well, three Caminoheads have come in to say they would help out with this project.  I’m happy.  We just need to get coordinated and started.  Just want it to be fun and rewarding and not some chore for us.

Hope that things are going well for you there where you are.  Here is the season to regroup and work on new developments.  Let’s see what we can think up to make springtime special.

I’m off, love to you as always, Felipe.

If it hasn’t been some kind of technical glitch with the iPad here it’s been sleepy head Felipe napping out.  But here I am twelve hours late. Oh well.  Was at the hospital today with rain and bad traffic.  So nice to be back at the ranch now.

How are you guys?  Man the east coast of the States gettting hammered with snow, cold and wind.  We got out of there in time.

Annie is down in Chico, CA showing the heck out of the documentary.  She is raising funds to wrap up the hour long version.  It is a hospital facility which I think is a fertile area for us to be showing in.  We can do a lot of good there.

Had a crazy dream last night.  Well, it was different, fortunately than the night before with those outlaw dreams.  OK, here it goes.  I was with a woman and we were just walking into a little grocery store in Nepal or somewhere exotic like that.  It didn’t feel like I knew her it is just that we hit the door at the same time.  So here comes the crazy part.  On going in she bares her chest, yea.  She gets done buying her corn flakes and yak butter or whatever and on walking out she says that it’s a sign of peace.  I think I said something like “oh”.

Yea, this must be some kind of bonus with my new chemo drugs.  So far so good generally with this new cocktail.  This is my life right now.

Tomorrow after my bible class I have a special walk with some of those guys.  That will be fun.  Always good to take folks around.

Well, an end to a ragged day.  See you tomorrow.  Love, Felipe.

I’m on the edge of my seat waiting for the new batch of side effects to kick in with my new chemo drugs.  My beloved oncologist Dr Gold, callsign “Nugget”, fixed me up with his best chemical shot after my scan showing no real progress with our former main drug.  Drugs only seem to work for a while and the cancer either finds a way around it or the body revolts from all the abuse.

So, that’s the situation as it stands at the moment.  I am just relaxing here on the red leather couch with my second cup of super strength coffee.  Had a rough night of broken sleep which is part of the program for a couple days after treatment.  Had some crazy ass dreams.  Here are the basic themes:  jailbreak, roadkill and hunting out of season.  All pretty rude and crude but somehow I left out cattle rustling and maybe some others.

Well, yesterday I was talking about the Caminoheads blog’s future.  I have to reup the infrastructure for it in April/May for two years.  Should I do that?  If I ask you for help to write some material would you consider that an honor or a chore?  Here we are with a format and a venue to keep the flame going.  Is that something we want to do?  I’m just checking on your feelings, not that anything imminent is happening.

Also here is a plea for funds for the Phil’s Camino documentary.  As you might of heard the new hour long version is close to being done.  A little more editing and the original music needs doing, that’s all.  But that all takes money.  We had great support from our Vashon showing but still we are needing $10,000 by the end of the month.  Annie is out and about in California doing showings of the rough cut of the film to show what we have.  And believe me it is good, My Rebecca and I have seen that and loved it.  I know it is hard to believe that it is better than our beloved 27 minute version but it is.   So, please if you can spare any change go to www.philscamino.com  and donate what you can.  Check out the way to donate and get a tax deduction.  OK, thanks.

Well, enough for today,  things to do, people to see, coffee to drink.  Love you all intensely and immensely, Felipe.

Ron from Virginia put this in his comment a few days ago: “ Love to you and all the others who make this great Camino family so important to our well-being.”  Something nice about that.

Last Sunday at church Father blessed the families in the parish.  He asked families to stand up at Mass.  Jessika, Catherine and I were sitting together and when Father asked the families to stand we took one look at each other and all realized that we needed to stand.  We were the Camino family so we got blessed all together.

“…so important to our well-being.”  Yea, let’s have some more of that well-being, could we?  I think that I would feel lost these days if I didn’t have the Camino to support me.  It is hard to say how much I rely on it but it is substantial for sure.

We have been talking about this topic for three and a half years now but it still seems new, vital and mysterious.  Usaually mysterious is thought about as hard or impossible to understand, an obstacle to knowing.  But I have heard mystery talked about like it could be with contemplation a source of never ending knowledge and inspiration, a font.

That would work wouldn’t it, to have a font.   May we never tire of our relationship with the Camino and with each other, us the Caminoheads.  I know we could write on for another year about it, God willing, couldn’t we?  OK, onward into 2018!

Who knows what the future will bring at this threshold of a new year.  But what I want to know is will Caminoheads, the blog, keep going for the benefit of everyone if I can no longer can do it?  Ah, the sunshine just landed on me for encouragement, nice.  But really, this surely is bigger than this one person Felipe.  Wouldn’t it be great to plan to keep this moving on no matter what?  If the font will go on then can we find a way to keep reporting on it?  Something to think about.

Oh, it is such a beautiful day for wintertime Seattle.  I am going to enjoy it, love, Felipe.