In all its funk and glory I love Raven Ranch. Please let me express my gratitude for this tiny oasis in the turmoil of it all. We have light bulbs out and dead meal moths on the counter and scotch broom weeds sprouting up in all the odd places outside. But that is it, part Felipe order and part Nature reclaiming. Or is it part Nature and Filipe reclaiming. It’s ying yang swirling before my eyes.
And my lungs and liver are a tiny microcosm of this ten acre play that is working itself out on the land. I have tumors which we, the royal we, have been able to blast,coax,coerce,zap,pickle and bully into very slow growth. It’s party time for Felipe in the short term but obviously this glacial movement will crush him eventually without some sort of balance achieved.
We had a meeting this morning, my tumors and me, and I apologized for my treatment of them but it has been my only option so far. I acknowledged them as being part of me and not some alien entities. They are a rebel faction, a very robust one. But my job as I see it as guardian of my whole being, including all rebel factions, is to strike balance. My intention is not to eradicate but to strike a workable balance.
They do their jobs these tumors with amazing tenacity in light of all we have been throwing at them and they just show up “Monday morning” with their lunch pails ready to go back at it again. And they are like the light bulbs and the meal moths and the scotch broom in that they have a job to do and I don’t hate them for it but I just have to play my part to keep them within what I have visualized as a workable balance.
So, many great blog ideas have crammed into my head lately. I have material for a week ahead. One, just a sneak preview, is that Our Catherine, has written a book which I just started on last night. So, now we can say Catherine Johnson as her name is out “naked”in the world. Although lately I have been calling her Dr Johnson around the ranch and environs. And it is entitled “Finding Mercy In This World – A Memoir”. Way to go Dr Johnson!
Well, I have to go outside and collect my bandannas with St Bridget dew on them. I will stack them up on my chest and shiver. Love you, Felipe.