There was an article in FaceBook this morning about the benefits to a family when there is a sister among the siblings. I read it and got all weepy. I don’t know if this is the right wording or not but I was supposed to have a sister. As time goes on I miss her more although I have never met her except in dreams.
This paragraph is sad but I can’t get around it. My dear mom had a late term miscarriage before I was born. We never talked about it, one of those deals. Then when I was going through my folks’ bank deposit box I came across the autopsy report all neat and clean and doctorlike. It was only read once.
I’ve always said that I was an only child or thought that way too til that moment. The hair was standing up on my neck to realize that that wasn’t true. It was a surprising moment after getting to fifty years old. And I have grown to look at her as a full entity, as a for sure someone.
But again I need your help. My parents never really talked about this and I never got a hint of what her name might have been. She died when most parents would have had something in mind, right? Help me name her. I don’t seem to have the least idea and have had no luck with this. Although I have used the name Patience at times. I look forward to meeting her and I thought Patience tied into that.
Wow, that was heavy duty. Thanks for sticking with me through that. I have to run. Charlie one of my walkers and his friend Nick are out trimming and weed walking along the trail for a Veranda spruce up. I should be getting out there to help. I can still hear them with their power equipment.
Love you guys. Who else am I going to get to help with something like this?
power equipment loves, Felipé.
That is a tough discovery when there are no longer people with first hand knowledge to help you understand the situation.
Without knowing anything about your parents (and their parents) I am going to suggest that the selected name for your sister could have been the feminine version of Phil, like Phyllis. That was a popular name in that time.
Ronaldo, I like it!
Ronaldo ~ that’s good thinking man. My Mother’s sister was Felicia. It could have been that too. I’ll mull it over. Thanks buddy, Felipé.
Phil, What a heartfelt story. Think how your mother suffered all those years holding this story of your sister in her heart. Take a look at the chapter in Put Your Heart on Paper, where I tell the story of a woman, Jan, whose baby died soon after she was born. The death of a child stays with you forever. My mother had a son who died before I was born, named Walter, after my dad. I share your sadness. As for the name for this angel of yours, I thought first of Therese, after St. Therese, the Little Flower, or Rose, also after St. Therese. Then I thought of Bridget, after St. Bridget of Sweden, who is the patron saint of miscarriages (you’ll like the fact that St. Bridget also went on pilgrimages, and once was shipwrecked, and therefore is shown in religious art with seashells pinned on her cloak–like the Santiago scallops). Then, I thought about it some more, and finally realized, who are we to name your sister? Why not ask your sister what her name is? You can ask her in writing, and the answer will come to you in writing; ask her in mediation, and the answer will come to you as you walk. I guarantee it. When my daughter Katherine was born, I asked her her name, and she told me, Katherine Elizabeth. I did not know that was the name of my great-grandmother. So I always say, Katherine named herself. In fact, before each of my four children was born, I imagined playing with him or her, or calling them to dinner. I named them the names they responded to in my dreams. Why don’t you imagine playing with your sister, and see what name makes her turn her head. You are a good man, Phil, and a good brother. Your sister is still with you. Talk to her.
Oh Henriette, you are so amazing. God, good, good ideas. I can do something like that, the Felipé version of that. I have seen her in dreams but never heard her name. I will be more creative like you are saying. Felipé.x
Phil, I left you a long comment and WordPress ate it. My first choice to name your angel was Therese or Rose, both after St. Theresa, the Little Flower. Then I suggested Bridget, after St. Bridget of Sweden, who is the Patron Saint of Miscarriages. St. Bridget also went on pilgrimages, and once was shipwrecked, so she is depicted in religious art with seashells on her cloak, like the Santiago scallops. Then I realized you could ask your sister her name. If you ask her in writing, she will answer in your writing. If you ask her in meditation, she will answer as you walk. Imagine yourself running and playing with her, and call her name. See what name makes her turn her head. This is how I named each of my children. You are a good man, Phil, and a good brother. Talk to your sister.
Henriette ~ your first long comment came through. I takes time for some reason. Other people also have had this problem. Thanks, Felipé.x
You know, I wrote a comment and it went into some planetary orbit, not mine.
I was deeply touched by your posting. How beautiful. I love the name Patience, and the name Patrice instantly came to mind.
Peace to you as you are processing the waves.
Jessika ~ hi. For some reason comments do not show up right away for the writer. It takes minutes or hours for something to happen, whatever that is. Just write and have faith. I’ll find it. Yea, my sister and the name. The name would be a working name for my use really. Thanks for the help. Felipé.x