My breakfast eggs are on to boil, the fire is going strong, Aretha is singing Gospel in the background and I am savoring this week’s Sabbath Moment. Caminoheads comes out once a day to report on a journey, Sabbath Moment comes out weekly, Monday morn, to bring a deeper, broader look at the our world. It is written by a good friend and Vashon Islander Terry Hershey. Do check it out because if you like this you will like that for sure.
Terry and I fly on the same Spiritual Blue Angels Flying Team. Flying wingtip to wingtip with Grace without a worry. Today he was talking of a Christmas battlefield truce that happened in World War One. A sort of wave of kindness in the middle of the opposite. And this very morning, minutes before, I was sending kindness into the war zone that is my chest. Mine being sort of a mini of what Terry was inspired by and writing about. Amazing.
OK, making chicken salad for lunch for Our Jennifer. Moving on to handle the day, love you all, Felipe.
Our Lady at Saint John Vianney’s, Vashon, Washington.
I was in Mexico in the early 1970’s, on a December 12th I first ran into her. Well, I ran into the celebration of her appearance which is pretty close to running into her. The enthusiasm that she inspires is over the top from what I observed.
Really don’t remember the small stuff but the rowdiness after dark was a thing of beauty. Lots of fireworks were flying around the town square lighting up the night. I was ducking stuff and amazed at the scene when the bull showed up. This was a metal contraption in the shape of a bull with four human legs propelling it around. The whole outside was packed with rockets and the bull would charge the crowds and cause general panic. As it ran around the square it would dodge into various buildings and rockets were coming out doors and windows. Wild and crazy all around.
The meaning of all this was sort of a mystery to me until much later when I learned more about Our Lady and the history of Mexico. Great stuff isn’t it? I think it wouldn’t hurt if we weren’t a little more enthusiastic about our beliefs around here. Enthusiastic love, Felipe.
All of the time we live by the watchwords of “Don’t get overwhelmed.” This meaning don’t let the bad stuff become too much. Keep in charge of the situation in other words. But this week has been exceptional in a little different way.
What do you think of a week that was full of remarkably good things to be on the verge of overwhelming. Not that everything was easy or unchallenging but it all was exceptional. Maybe I can power through this now and give you a rough idea.
Wednesday was my and Our Jennifer’s big every other week big treatment day. This is such a hurtle to get over and it isn’t always pretty but we did it once again. That was Wednesday and it is an all day project.
Then Thursday morning we received a blessing from Father Marc at St John Vianney’s here on the Island. He is such a positive warm person and so supportive of our mission. This is so inspirational to have this kind of backup.
Then back to the hospital on Friday to complete our treatment. Sister Joyce saw us afterward for an hour at her office. She was on her A game for us, all guns firing, if I can say that about a Sister. After hearing what was new with us she gave us a talk on the “thin moments” of life. These are moments when the distance between us and God is very close, when the veil is very thin. These are the moments that we would love to repeat, to experience again and again and again. Maybe specifically it would be the birth of a child or intense beauty or witnessing a heroic moment. We know it by our longing to get back there. These “thin moments” are glimpses of heaven according to Sister Joyce. Yes. This is rich juice to get us through the low times.
And then this morning I spent some time with friends talking with Art Kopecky who is president of Telious. This is an organization that oversees over a hundred men’s small group bible classes in Western Washington. I have been going to one on the Island for ten years now. And my other great connection is that Art walked the Camino this last summer and I had a chance to help with his preparation. Also a cool detail is that he took my walking sticks and used them and they went across again. Anyway, it a shot in the arm to be with him and just another good thing for me.
OK, just one more. I told you that I am overwhelmed. Then this early morning was one of my talks with the cancer messenger. He had me looking at a miniature scene like a diorama in a museum or interpretive center. It was a rectangular expanse of forest and we were looking down on the canopy. This was so thick that the ground could not be seen from our vantage point. It was clear to me, though implied, that there was a trail down there beneath somewhere to be walked and we were looking down on it in a bird’s eye view. And he said, “This is the day that you have.” Yes, simultaneously clear and obscure.
Well, there you have it. Have to go Skype with Angela in Australia. It’s all happening, this is the day that we have, love, Felipe.
Here we are in Advent, the few weeks before Christmas. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think about the Camino and some of you that were there for me. That was in hotter than hot July and August. Maybe next time start May first or September first, right?
But that isn’t where my thoughts are today. What about those few hundred hardy souls that walk every month throughout the winter. Thinking about them, praying for them now. Hard corps, those guys. Buen Camino from our armchairs!
Well, Our Jennifer and I are off to Seattle today. I have to get my drivers license renewed while she does some Christmas shopping. Then off to the hospital to get our pumps off. After that we have meeting with Sister Joyce to wrap things up. Then dash out to catch a ferry before rush hour. That’s the plan and nice when things go uneventfully. But Commandos can handle the random hurtles anyway.
Yup, well, you have a good one. It’s good though uneventful or eventful for God enjoys our personal stories. Give us strength Lord, that is what we pray for. See you tomorrow friends, love, Felipe.
Pilgrim Farmer John, our good friend and Major Caminohead from Iowa wrote this comment on the nurses quieting us down at the treatment center yesterday:
“Party on, Jarhead! Some things we need to be proud of, like having the insouciance to be having such a good time at cancer-crunching therapy to get a (mild) slapdown by the nurses. Yep, you and I are going to get along just fine, Amigo.”
So, yea, I had to make my way to the big fat dictionary to corral “insouciance”, especially if I had this thing. In my mind I thought our good buddy had spelled insolence wrong. Insolence is showing rudeness and having an arrogant lack of respect. That’s why I had to look it up because that wasn’t us, hopefully.
“Insouciance – casual lack of concern; indifference.” As in Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn or Alfred E. Neumann, the king of “What, Me Worry?”. So this is where several millions of dollars of high tech cancer treatment has taken me? Maybe I should have stayed in the early 1960’s and read more Mad Magazine and seriously soaked up this good stuff? Anyone want to get me a Neumann T-shirt for Christmas? Just a gift idea, no pressure, size large.
OK, so the lighter side of cancer coming at you. Well here it is just about time to get up for Thursday. Maybe if I built a fire I wouldn’t be freezing my butt! What me worry? See you, insouciant on, Felipe.
It wasn’t Thanksgiving and it wasn’t Christmas, just halfway between. Just Caminoheads getting together because we could. Sometimes it is just good to get together without the pressure of holidays. It is quality time just for the heck of it.
Enjoying our company.
We are at the hospital today getting our treatment, Jennifer and myself and her cousin Marilyn showed up for a few hours. Well, as it goes we just got asked by the nurses to keep it down. All right, that’s what I want to hear! We were having little plays with gummy bears on stage and before we knew it we were having too much fun. Just a day in the life of the Commandos.
See you soon, love you exactly and immensely, Felipe.
The peace that passes all understanding. Have you ever dwelled on those words? I wasn’t dwelling on those words in this early morn but got to that peace anyway. It was dark still, four o’clock maybe. Rain was coming down in buckets and a slight breeze was coming through the open window and touching my cheek. It was the right time for a face to face opportunity. For these formal meetings with my cancer I am flat on my back with my hands on my chest above my lungs, home of my tumors. Somehow it is important for my body to be straight and symmetrical as possible. Don’t ask me why.
But we talk. I try and answer my questions and to find a way to relate to this renegade part of me. This has been going on for weeks, the talks. As time has gone on I am more satisfied with not being able to understand everything. When does that happen anywhere anyway? Lately, I have been more into relating.
I think the process was started when I stopped looking for blame outside myself. My cancer could be caused by what kind of breakfast cereal I ate as a kid in 1958. Yea, maybe. Or the chemicals that we used in art school in 1970. Yea, maybe. It is endless and useless, this quest, for me anyway.
There was a point it became personal, “my” cancer not “the” cancer. Maybe first I saw my cancer as a wildfire that we were fighting. Then I saw my cancer as a loose cannon aboard the ship that is my body, that we were trying to get control of. Most lately it appears to be a sort of messenger, an agent sent to get my attention.
Anyway, this early morning, I reached the conclusion that it, my cancer, had a place and it was alperfect that it was with me. Whatever it was sent to tell me I would listen. So, this is all so personal I hope I am not weirding you out but I am trying to describe a process that may be helpful (vital) to someone. I’ve never heard this stuff talked about this way and I am in uncharted territory myself so stay with me.
As a kid I was fascinated by the idea of people whose job it was to disarm bombs, unexploded ordinance. Totally heroic activity. I knew that the process involved communication. As the person worked at taking apart the mechanism to get to the heart of it all, to understand it and ultimately to disarm it he described everything he was doing over the radio to his team members who were at a safe distance. This was especially important when dealing with something unfamiliar as there was always a learning curve ahead. There was a good chance that he would not survive the procedure but at some point the answer would comeby by repeating the process. So, I strangely feel like “that guy” all of a sudden. So, I am not trying to weird you out but I am communicating with you as I keep you at a safe distance. We are trying to learn something.
This morning is Mass, as today is a day of obligation, The Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Catherine and I are off to that. Then this evening we have a big Caminoheads dinner. Our Jennifer cooking a big pork roast. So, thus it all goes on, love you, Felipe.
“Man I don’t have time for this. It’s frantic right now you know. So much going on, you have to prioritize. Some things are more important than others. I’m just up to my armpits in work these days, couldn’t possibly.”
“Yea, well, who is this guy Jesus Christ anyway? It’s his birthday right? Look he lived two thousand years ago in a poor little region under the rule of the Roman government. Now there was an outfit. They made a difference those Romans: roads, harbors, beautiful cities. Israel or Judah, whatever they called it, was just plain unruly. They needed the Romans to oversee things.”
“And what did he accomplish? “Turn the other cheek”, what does that mean? “Feed the poor”, so tired of those panhandlers, really. “Believe” in stuff you can’t see? There’s a good one. “Love my neighbor”, never met them really. None of this stuff is relevant anymore really. No time for it and it just confuses things for me.”
“It’s okay for some folks I suppose. To each his own they say. But it’s not for people like all my friends. They are the best bunch. We don’t need this stuff, it’s for those other guys who don’t have it together. It’s for those simple people and such, unlucky, unruly, not us, hate to put it that way but…”
Catherine picked me up for Mass this morning in her new truck. Father Marc had a great homily about faith, about believing in things unseen. He was talking about the idea that no matter what the topic of his homilies that they were all really about faith. That is because a lot of times he is totally at a loss for an idea for what he going to talk about and he has to have faith that it will come together for him. And wiz bang it always seems to come together no matter how rough the start. Kind of like this blog; I can relate.
Then after that I accompanied Our Jennifer to the local Episcopal church to check that out. Carla Pryne the Priest there had a great homily about Advent. About things great and small that make up human history and it’s relationship to the ongoing revelations of God. And this history is largely filled with people like John the Baptist or Carla’s Bulgarian aunt, who she described in detail, who have there special places in human history without being the big power players. People whose God’s light shines through.
And Father Marc went on with other examples of how others went forward with projects based largely on faith. The faith ingredient seems vital really when I think about it. So much of what we do hinges on some components that are unformed or not totally understood.
And Carla meanwhile described a recipe that she tried to put down on paper from her aunt’s description of how to make this apple dessert. Hilarious as it had no real measurements. Real people just get things done day after day without major fuss.
Well, OK, My Rebecca is pressing me so she can “talk” with our grandson and she needs this iPad for FaceTime. So, this post is a little half baked but I have to go to keep the family peace. Alperfect here on the second Sunday in Advent. Love you, Felipe.
“The spiritual journey does not consist in arriving at a new destination where a person gains what he does not have, or becomes what he is not. It consists in the dissipation of one’s own ignorance concerning one’s self and life, and the gradual growth of that understanding which begins the spiritual awakening. The finding of God is a coming to one’s self.” Aldous Huxley.
There seems to be a lot of “out there” as Christmas approaches. Everything seems to be out there somewhere. Our job, get totally stressed trying to find all the required stuff and gather it in the time allotted. I haven’t watched much news since back from Spain but did catch vital footage of folks fighting over Black Friday merchandise. Yea. Hmm.
Let’s start the season here at Caminoheads with remembering what the basic story is and how each of us dovetails with God from way back before time. No fighting necessary. Just relax, the important stuff really is close at hand.
